America’s Next Top Model (CW) — The short girls who will never make it as models do a martial arts-themed photo shoot, then the uber-hot Jessica White serves as a guest judge.
Gary Unmarried (CBS) — Oh hey, wouldja look at that. This steaming puddle of diarrhea is still on the air.
Law & Order: SVU (NBC) — Scott Foley guest stars as an amnesiac who wakes up next to a dead woman. Shoulda been you, Felicity.
MythBusters (Discovery) — The show is running out of ideas: they spend the entire hour investigating three myths related to duct tape. Oh, the wonders they might possibly reveal!
Soccer: World Cup Qualifier (ESPN2) — Costa Rica at USA in Washington, D.C. Even though the Men’s National Team qualified for the World Cup with last week’s win over Honduras, it would still be nice to get revenge for the 3-1 loss suffered in Costa Rica back in June — and also win one for striker Charlie Davies, who was injured in a terrible car wreck yesterday.
Property Virgins (HGTV) — I watched an episode of this once. All I have to say is, if you’re expecting a porn, this is pretty disappointing.
Nip/Tuck (FX) — Season 6 premiere. The word on the street is that this show has gone downhill in a big way after an excellent start, but I’ve never seen it so I can’t really steer you in either direction. However, if it in any way makes women feel self-conscious and want to improve their bodies, then I hereby declare it the best show on TV.
UFL Football (Vs.) — Florida at Las Vegas. I have no idea if this will be worth a damn. My gut and history say it will be a poor imitation, and yet… it’s football, you know?
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DirecTv doesn’t carry Versus? But don’t they have an HD channel devoted entirely to the guys who hunt for crabs (the sea-faring kind, not the kind Tracy Morgan told my mom he didn’t have).
I stopped watching Nip/Tuck when they tried to tell me that Famke Janssen used to be a guy.
*claps hands*
*waves fingers*
I’m out.
Her name’s White, but she’s not white! That’s so wacky, let’s get my buddy J-House on the line.
/Simmons’ed
DirecTV no longer carries Vs.
For once, I wanted to watch Vs.
I’m pretty sure that Jessica White is the reason God decided to make eyes.
I’m in Costa Rica and will be watching with a bar full of locals. In the US if they win or lose no one cares, but here if they win everyone parties (like you’d expect in Central America) and the girls get slutty.
CMON TICOS!
I hope there isn’t a scene where Tyra suspends Jessica above her bath and slits her throat to bathe in her blood to rejuvenate her LONG lost beauty.
This weekend I busted the myth that duct tape can hold a garbage bag over a broken car window going over 70 mph
Kari Byron is the only reason to watch Mythbusters…that little nerdy redhead can do experiments on me all day long….wait, why does that turn me on?
A hot black girl with a small ass wearing a pink bikini?? I think I just found my unicorn. Giggidy!!!
I’m convinced they ran out of myths to bust years ago. How many “myths” do they have that people have never heard of? And they always preface it with “there’s this popular myth on the INTERNET…” then follow it with something obscure that gives them an excuse to blow shit up.
“There’s this popular myth on the internet that says if you drive a car over 50 mph off of a cliff in a rainstorm, it will spontaneously combust. Let’s test it out.”