10.26.09 WHAT’S ON TONIGHT: JOANNA KRUPA!

It’s not a party ’til Birthday Dog shows up

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) — Word just got out that Polish-born model Joanna Krupa took off all of her clothes and got photographed for a cover spread in December’s Playboy, her second shoot for the magazine. Beats the hell out of Marge Simpson — or anyone who’s been touched by Brett Ratner.

Gossip Girl (CW) — I guess Hilary Duff is still guest-starring? Whatever.

Real Chance of Love (MTV) — Season finale. Frankly, I’d rather watch Animals Are Awesome on loop for an hour. The show will never ever come close to topping that.

Jon and Kate Plus 8 (TLC) — Kate fields viewers’ questions in this one-hour special. “Yeah, hi, Kate? What’s it like to be the biggest bitch on the planet?”

Monday Night Football (ESPN) — Eagles at Redskins. As usual, I’ll be hanging out at the live-blog on KSK. Come for the dick jokes, stay for the screen caps of cheerleaders.

Cake Boss (TLC) — Season premiere. I actually met some of the people who work on this show when they came in to 826NYC one day. They were very nice, and I wish them luck. But that doesn’t mean I’ll ever watch a show about people making f-cking cakes.