Jeopardy! (ABC) — It’s on at 7:00 p.m. in New York, which is annoying because it plays opposite the “Simpsons” re-runs on Fox. And oh yeah: this video blew my mind. (via Buzzfeed)

The Jeff Dunham Show (Comedy Central) — I thought it seemed a little bit insane to give a ventriloquist a half-hour show, but I thought, Hey, don’t be too quick to judge — this could be almost as good as “Krod Mandoon.” But then the reviews came in, and it’s a complete train wreck. (Also: Dunham’s kind of a dick.) UPDATE: It’s not on until tomorrow night. You have a reprieve.

America’s Next Top Model (CW) — Kim Kardashian is the guest judge, so there’ll be no shortage of pleasant, humble, self-effacing women on this episode.

Mercy (NBC) — The main character is an Iraq veteran nurse with a drinking problem and a lousy relationship. Is that a crappy enough life for you, Maria Shriver?

Glee (Fox) — I gave up on “Glee” a week or two ago. It’s not that it’s bad; it just doesn’t fit in with my tastes. I go for slow-burning story lines in shows like “Mad Men” and “The Wire,” and “Glee” just moves too fast for me. Every week there was a new revelation of a pregnancy or an engagement — the kind of audience-catching twists that feel like desperation moves. Much like the locker room in a West Village gym, “Glee” is just a little too soapy and gay for me.

Lock n’ Load (Showtime) — Series premiere. I haven’t heard much about this, but it’s a documentary series that looks at a Colorado gun shop and the people who buy firearms there. Sigh… makes me miss my .50 cal. Blowing up trucks and artillery pieces just isn’t the same without it.