leno-helmetHURRRRRRRRRR

If you woke up this morning wondering if Jay Leno is still awful in every way possible, the answer is yes. Yes, Jay Leno is still awful in every way possible.

Leno says he would have rather stayed put at “The Tonight Show” – and if NBC offered him that job again, he’d take it.

In an interview with Broadcasting & Cable magazine published online Monday, Leno hastily added that such a decision isn’t his to make. Conan O’Brien, his successor as “Tonight” host after 17 years, is “doing fine,” Leno said. [AP]

“Oh yeah, Conan’s doing… uh, fine. I absolutely want to displace him and take my old job back, but he’s doing great. Just… great. No no no — I’m not in charge at NBC. I can’t make that decision for them. It would absolutely be someone else’s decision to be an Indian giver of the ‘Tonight Show’ hosting duties, and I would never suggest that they should do that, merely that I’d be very happy if they did. Also, I recently took eight newborn babies and burned them in my back yard.”