SNL’S TWILIGHT SPOOF: ‘FIRELIGHT’
11.09.09Here’s the best part of this weekend’s “Saturday Night Live” hosted by Taylor Swift: a digital short that sharply spoofs the Twilight trailers that make fat teenage goth girls all wet. And look! Taylor’s got the Kristen Stewart lip-biting thing down pat! There’s a lot to like here, from everything Bill Hader does to mummies not liking the Franks to the wrinkle of drama we get from the rumor that the SNL host is dating New Moon star Taylor Lautner.
Other than that, “SNL” was the same as ever: kinda crappy with some highlights. I’m inclined to say it was worse than usual because I fast-forwarded through a couple sketches, but I actually liked the monologue (video below), and Weekend Update was really strong, and the cold open (Kristen Wiig as Greta van Susteren with Jason Sudeikis’s awesome Glenn Beck) was pretty good. Plus I’d like to credit the “SNL” writers for NOT basing a skit around the Kanye gag. It can’t be easy to avoid low-hanging fruit like that (funny, I often say the same thing to women while pointing at my crotch).

I thought it was actually better than usual. I even laughed a few times. And yeah, she’s hot and all, but Taylor Swift’s face freaks me the fuck out.
Is it wrong that I want to fuck the shit out of that chick?
I can’t believe that Swift performed even after Peter King stepped on her gown. LOFTY PERFORMANCE. Swift defines clutch.
Setting: SNL cast meeting
Date: Friday
Lorne Michaels: “Look, I know you all want to do a Kanye spoof, but we don’t have a black cast member.”
Kenan Thompson: “Um, excuse me?”
Lorne Michaels: “Again, we don’t have a black cast member.”
Hey baby, ever seen cherries and a banana grow on the same bush?
/slapped
//smiles
///slapped again
Taylor’s the kind of girl that I’d go to the grocery store and buy the $6 bottle of fancy maple syrup so I could pour it in her ass crack.