Perhaps recognizing that “True Life: Jersey Shore Time Share” was the greatest thing on MTV since Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game” video, MTV has added another series in my case for an aggressive euthanasia program with its new docu-soap “Jersey Shore.” It basically looks like “The Real World: Guido Beach,” which might make it just preposterous, disgusting, and cringe-worthy enough to be watchable. Kind of like “Rock of Love” in that regard.
I have some non-guido friends from New Jersey who vigorously defend their home state, and they’re right to do so. There are places like Morristown and Princeton that are perfectly nice. But they’re using thimbles to stop the flood of douche that populates the Jersey shore in the summer. There might be some nice leafy suburban enclaves, but you can’t fight the stereotypes embraced and perpetuated in this TV show. Or this. Or this. These people are the turds of humanity flushed out of New York and Philadelphia, and New Jersey’s the septic tank.
(thanks to foreignspell)
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I would like to state that these people are not from new Jersey, except for one. They do not represent the Jersey shore. They represent a group of people who come DOWN to the Jersey Shore to visit for the summer. Most of the time they get a house and don’t know who else will be living there.
Wow… cool story bro.
YOU TAKE IT BACK UFF, YOU TAKE IT BACK AND SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE!!! You’re just mad because you’re too pasty and not nearly buff enough to cut it on the NJ shore. New Jersey is like Sparta from the movie 300, right down to the jakked men and beautiful women, and you know you can’t cut it in this environment. You’re incapable of giving a Jersey girl the proper hollowing out she expects, and this makes you feel inadequate and brings you pain. That’s it, isn’t it? ISN’T IT?
/sarcasm
//realizes Jersey has issues. Guess what? It still beats wherever the fuck you’re from.
///NYC is actually an extension of NJ. Disagree? Tell me what NYC has in common with the rest of the dairy farm wasteland that is New York state
I’m sorry, but I had to delete Holt’s comment. NOBODY gets to write eight paragraphs on this blog — not even me. (And on the rare occasion that I do, I have the courtesy to use a jump.)
Thanks for clearing that up Holt.
Stay sweet forever and may the gods bless you with a never ending stream of Axe body spray.
As a New Jersian… even New Jersey sometimes hates being New Jersey
http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2008/07/belmar_mayor_labels_renters_in.html
As a Boston resident I thought we had it bad with the negative stereo types (see Tawmmy from KSK), but to truly understand the pain of normal jersians I think we’d have to take the entire populations of Quincy and Revere, spread them over the entire coastline, and then let that be what everyone assumes we’re all like.
This…this is exactly why Boston Italians hate Jersey (and Long Island) Guidos. Those assholes give us a real bad name.
I’m from the part of Jersey where all the men wear golf pants and talk about their country clubs. Is that better? Didn’t think so.
@UU — yeah, but it’s generally guido-free (having only one bar in town helps). Sadly the trade-off is not being able to awkwardly gawk at all the hot 19 year-olds, since most are elsewhere.
I am from Seaside Heights, I’ve lived there my whole life, and sadly, this is what our town looks like in the Summer, it’s a nice town in the winter, but who wants to go in the winter? In all reality these were the people I graduated high school with, and are very funny to watch, especially if you piss them off in front of their whore girlfriend.
guidos are the reason I avoid the shore like its covered in AIDS, which it already is, but thats besides the point. good parts of jersey are found the farther away you are from the shore.
/would gladly liquidate the guidos
KP, Lavallette is dangerously close to Sleaze Side Heights
Fuck, man. I “vigorously defend my home state” but this is getting unfair. Ocho is right, Lavallette is my summer beach refuge and as much as I hate them, looking at guidos’ subtle choices of tattoos is always entertaining (personal favorites: GLADIATOR and HEAVEN-SENT written in large block letters. Nice choices, douchebags).
If you need me, I’ll be making a bleach martini.
@ Me
Nice typos, asshole.
I understand there are pockets of decency in Jersey, but I’m sure that was true of Vichy France true. I guess all I’m saying is this – Normandy = Belmar.
Vote Danger Guerrero 2012
Seaside Heights, NJ is ground zero for guidos. Also, proud to say that I have an Italian name and have never been accused of being a guido.
Rangers and Marines jointly storming the Guido Beach?
Yes plz.
I was on my way to the Harrisburg Coat Outlet to buy an irregular coat, but it required a stop in New Jersey…
/seriously, NJ is the worst place in the world
//our military should declare war on it
Damn it, New Jersey’s never gonna live these guidos down. Is it cool if we just round them all up and send them to an internment camp? I mean, the other states might frown on that, but not as much as they frown already on the current infestation of guidos.
/from Jersey
//guidos are actually fairly entertaining as long as you keep a safe distance
///To avoid: go to the wealthier beaches on the shore.
I’ve never been to Jersey but I hear they call it The Garden State? Is that why I’ve heard it smells like organic fertilizer?
This is what happens when you’re from the armpit of America. Have you smelled NJ lately? Not surprising at all.
/from NY
//used to live in NJ
Correction:
“LuV FuKkIN BiTCheZzZz uP”
Know the last girl who takes a swing at the end…
Needless to say they are very proud of themselves for being on this show and I quote “Luv Fuckin Bitchezz Up”
I hate to wish cancer on anyone, but I really hope they all get cancer…. and butt aids.
The most surprising part of this show? James Franco.
^^^ Speaking of fist pumping, that “Wicked Game” video WAS awesome.
You can’t stop the fist pump.
For the love of all the normal people in New Jersey, can they at least call this show “We’re All Laughing AT You.”
OK, let’s see… two gas cans, 12 Master Locks, matches… am I forgetting anything?
New Jersey sucks.
To be fair, I once dated a girl from Morristown. There are plenty of guidos there as well.