thanksgiving-parade

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (NBC) — I merely disliked this when I was younger; now that I realize that it’s a three-hour commercial for Broadway and corporate mascots, I loathe it. Oh wait, and there’s marching bands! I hate marching bands. But my mom likes it. And Mom’s making the food, so she justifiably gets to watch what she wants. The problem? Here on the West Coast, the parade runs the same time as the early NFL game. Dammit, I’m missing football so you can watch the cast of The Little Mermaid lip sync “Under the Sea”? GAH! (Love you, Mom.)

NFL: Packers at Lions (Fox) — Poor Matt Stafford. Four days after his incredible heroics against the Browns, he gets a chance to show off on a national stage — except he’s doubtful with a shoulder injury.

NFL: Raiders at Cowboys (CBS) — Stupid Miles Austin. I picked him up in my fantasy league just before his first start, when he went for 250 yards and 2 touchdowns (he was conveniently on my bench at the time). Then he had two more good games, and now I’m contemplating benching him against the Raiders.

The National Dog Show (NBC) — I’m boycotting this until they implement evening wear and swimsuit into the final score.

NFL: Giants at Broncos (NFL Network) — Hey DirecTV, go suck a dong.

Beyonce: I Am… Yours (ABC) — This concert has an unnecessary… ellipsis.

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (ABC) — Maybe I’m cynical, or maybe I’m just a throbbing hunk of masculinity, but the Peanuts gang has always kinda bothered me. STOP BEING SUCH A PUSSY, BROWN! That lesbian Marcie is the manliest of the bunch.