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Californication (Showtime) — Rick Springfield guest stars as himself, and yet I used a banner image of Eva Amurri as Hank’s preferred stripper/student. Hardly seems fair, but I have no intention of apologizing.

60 Minutes (CBS) — Mickey Andy Rooney provides the best two minutes of television I never watch. Second place: David Caruso in the opening scene of every “CSI: Miami.”

World Series (Fox) — Game 4, Yankees at Phillies. The World Series is fine. I enjoy it.  But it pisses me off that the NFL and NBC cancel Sunday Night Football because of it.

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC) — A firefighter, his EMT wife, and their daughters get house to replace their crappy trailer. Prepare for a bus — and your heart — to be moved.

Dexter (Showtime) — I hear that this season’s been terrific so far. I apologize for not being able to watch every good show on TV. I’ll get around to watching it on DVD in the next three or four years. Maybe.

Styl’d (MTV) — Series premiere. Aspiring fashion stylists try to get a job at some celebrity styling agency. I really love the apostrophe. It saves so much more space than that bulky e.

The Girls Next Door (E!) — This show still exists, apparently. Kind of sad.

Mad Men (AMC) — It’s the season’s penultimate episode, and I highly doubt that it can be as depressing as last week’s show. Look for more Pete and Peggy, and less Roger. Bummer.