bloodsport1“I LOVE TURTLES!!!“

Bloodsport (Vs.) — Hell yes. If you disagree with my assessment, then I’d like to direct you to the gallery below.

One Tree Hill (CW) — Why don’t I pay attention to this show? How about this description from TV Guide: “The guys go camping for a weekend of male bonding, but Julian struggles to fit in.” Sophia Bush would have to get awfully naked to make up for that.

Trauma (NBC) — Enjoy it now, because NBC has announced it won’t get renewed after the season. Or rather, don’t enjoy it. It’s pretty crappy.

World Series (Fox) — Game 5, Yankees at Phillies. Way to blow it last night, Phils. Now I’m going to have to deal with Yankees fans being (more) smug again. I’m moving to California.

Monday Night Football (ESPN) — Falcons at Saints. Please follow along at the Kissing Suzy Kolber live-blog. I need a big night for John Carney, and quiet nights from Michael Turner, Pierre Thomas, and Tony Gonzalez for my fantasy teams to hold on. Somehow, I fear this game won’t end in a 9-0 win for the Saints.

Kate: Her Story (TLC) — Yup, it’s an hour of Kate Gosselin talking about the media frenzy surrounding the terrible mess for which she’s at least half responsible. If I could punch a TV program, this would be it.

The Soup Presents: TV’s Greatest Smackdowns (E!) — These shows are always clips we’ve already seen from previous episodes of “The Soup,” yet I still watch them anyway. What can I say, I love me some Joel McHale.

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SITE NEWS: Bored New Yorkers: I will be reading at the Freerange Reading Series this Wednesday at 6:00 p.m. at Cornelia Street Cafe in the West Village. Come by if you wanna hear me talk about going to war. More listings from Robopanda after the jump!

Heroes (NBC) — In tonight’s episode, too much stuff happens, my parents get confused, and probably nobody dies yet.

Bait Car (TRUTV) — This sounded awesome until I realized this isn’t a show about freeway indecent exposure.  For a channel called “TruTV” I’d think they’d have programming more relevant to my interests.

For the Love of Ray J and I Want to Work for Diddy (VH1) — Season premiere of both.  Ray J will have 19 attention whores in his house this season, vying for future child support.  Diddy will have 11 attention whores in his headquarters this season, vying for a job as Diddy’s assistant.  Wait, that’s a prize?

Greek (ABCFAM) — Midseason finale.  I’ve never heard of this show before now, and frankly I’m disappointed it has nothing to do with Greco-Roman wrestling.  For shame, ABC “family”, if that is your real name.

CSI: Miami (CBS) — Like a macabre version of The Hangover, a body is found at a bachelor party and the groom has gone missing. ”You know, getting married . . . *sunglasses* . . . It’s a killer.” YEAAAAAAAAH!