Hustler continues to churn out its “This Ain’t…” series of pornography with this installment, “This Ain’t Beverly Hills 90210 XXX” (don’t worry, the video’s safe for work, unfortunately). Of course, I’ve never heard of or seen any of these actors before because I find porn demeaning to women, but I admit that the plot description at YouTube piques my curiosity.

While Donna annoys all with her constant whining, Jake Hansen, an old drifter friend of Dylans, comes to town and intrigues Kelly. Brenda and Dylan evade the boredom of a privileged life by running off to Mexico for a romantic getaway. Meanwhile, Kelly helps Jake with his tool belt; Donna is consoled by Mr. Walsh; and Brandon teaches Steve how to tell if a girl will do anal or not! Andrea is keeping Brenda and Dylans secret vacay on the down-low, but is distracted by Steve and his desperate need to get laid. Will Brenda and Dylans cover get blown? Will Steve get a little backdoor action with Andrea? Will Jake hammer it home with Kelly? Does anyone give a sh-t about Donna?

You’ll notice that there’s no Andrea in the trailer above. I’m going to just assume that they’re still searching for a porn actress who looks old enough to be Gabrielle Carteris. UPDATE: Oh, I guess there is an Andrea. I must have assumed there wasn’t because I didn’t see any wrinkled old lady with glasses.

[The Frisky]