KILL IT. KILL IT WITH FIRE.
12.02.09
Go ahead and fondle your secretary on your way out of work today, then do all the drugs you can find, get a hooker, and kill someone in cold blood. You may as well, because the world ends tonight at 10:00 Eastern, when Jay Leno’s guests are Dane Cook and Kim Kardashian. Let me say that again: Jay Leno, Dane Cook, and Kim Kardashian. You can’t possibly squeeze less talent into one show unless you’re making an MTV reality series.
This apocalyptic nightmare, by the way, comes on the heels of President Obama bumping “The Jay Leno Show” from NBC’s lineup last night. Guess what happened.
A primetime speech from President Obama forced NBC to squeeze out “The Jay Leno Show” for the first time this fall. The result, not so coincidentally, was a demographic win for the network… Among adults 18-49, NBC won the night with a 3.2 rating. CBS was second with a 2.4 rating, nipping the 2.1 rating for FOX.
Let’s all cut Obama some slack, okay? Television without Leno is change I can believe in.
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ZOMG total rhyme scheme!
I actually like KK. She’s a dumb Valley girl but doesn’t try not to be. I like my women dumb you see.
Maybe Bill Hicks’ wish will finally come true:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfkvpcjNk7c
Will Kim K be 90% CGI like she is in most of her photos?
If KK was wearing that outfit I’d watch it on endless loop.
Even in that banner pic, Cook is going to be derivative in 0.3 seconds by wearing an arrow through the head.
“Let’s all cut Obama some slack, okay? Television without Leno is change I can believe in.”
I don’t know Uff, I think we can do better than just replacing one no-talent hack with another no-talent hack.
/shows self out
It could suck more if the cast of Entourage was on.
“Jay Leno, Dan Cook, and Kim Kardashian. You can’t possibly squeeze less talent into one show…”
Leno: Thanks to Dane Cook and Kim Kardashian for being here. We leave you with this performance by Soulja Boy. G’night everybody!
I want to kill two of them, and have sex with the other one. And then kill the one I had sex with.
You guessed it. I want to fuck Leno’s chin.
These guests are wasted on Leno. They belong on Letterman. Dave would mock them right to their faces, while Leno will actually take them seriously.
I’ll probably get killed for saying this, but Cook’s last Comedy Central special was actually pretty funny.
Actually, I applaud Kim’s ability to work a shaft. She has SOME talent.