blake-lively-snl

Blake Lively hosted this weekend’s episode of “Saturday Night Live” with musical guest Rihanna, and while I haven’t watched the whole episode yet, I’d be willing to bet that there’s never been a host/musical guest combination that I’d more eagerly saw off one of my legs in order to have sex with. I don’t know who would ask me to saw off my leg or why that person would have the power to grant me access to Blake and Rihanna’s respective vaginas, but the offer stands. Ginsu knife, chainsaw, rusty butter knife, whatever. Just as long as there’s a spare tourniquet for my penis.

Below, some key clips from the episode.

“Underground Festival” — Of the highlights I caught on Hulu, this was my favorite.

“Gossip Girl: Staten Island” — Solely because I love cheap Italian-American stereotypes. And Blake Lively’s cleavage.

“Potato Chip” — included here for the payoff at the 4:30 mark.

“Virginiaca” — Requested: an animated .GIF of Blake booty dancing from 2:17 to 2:20. Giggety.