This is one of the best local news stories I’ve seen in ages. A family in Ohio adopted a fawn that was rejected by its mother. Five years later, they have a domesticated deer running around their house. There are innumerable ways this is mind-blowing, but this is what stuck out to me:
Enjoying a wide variety of meals, Dillie’s favourite is ice cream and coffee, topped off with frozen ice shavings. [Daily Mail]
How do you arrive at the realization that you should GIVE YOUR PET DEER COFFEE? “Aw, Dillie looks tired today. I know just the thing!”
But nothing can touch the majesty that is the local news report on Dillie and her family. You want puns? Oh baby, it’s got puns. Puns that could be written by a fourth-grader. Doe-n’t believe me? Just watch, deer readers. You’ll fawn over it!
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.wg.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/11/panda-journalism-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wg.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/11/snowglobe-150x150.jpg)
Having Dillie for a pet would be unbearable.
Dillie’s got nothing on Bambo, a rural GA deer who ate fruit loops, yoohoo, Mountain Dew, and MENTHOL CIGARETTE BUTTS.
http://tinyurl.com/ybbhakg
Also, y’alls’ deer puns seem to be stuck in a rut.
Who wants venison?
When you type “deer” into google, the first image it returns is this:
http://www.dba-oracle.com/images/redneck_deer_butt_doorbell.jpg
(for real)
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to HOOF my way with Dillie, here.
Burnsy –
He may not fuck the deer, but he’ll probably Fawn-dle it a little.
Who am I kidding? He’s gonna fuck the deer.
OK, when you mentioned the puns, I could already see the cheap easy ones they’d be doing, but good god, I was not ready for that forced “DOE NOT DISTURB” one at the end. I really wanted Dillie to go all “when animals attack” on that twerp.
Captain Lou Albano’s brother can do what he wants, dammit!
/not a proud day for this Ohioan
*$20 that three months from now (I should proofread)
Nice, Pete. Bet you $20 that three from now months that camera-whoring deer stars in a stag film.
Doh!
KP: ten points for beating me to that one.
I’ve got a buck for the first person to kick that reporter in the junk.
That reporter’s parents must be so…uhh…what’s the opposite of shame? No wait. They’re probably ashamed.
Work got ya down? Buck up and watch this.
Wait for the day that Dillie jumps the fence and takes one in between the eyes by a semitruck. I want THAT local news report.
Venison of a gun, that is a tasty looking pet.
He went in there to fuck that deer, didn’t he?
Louis CK does not approve of this story.