*NOTE: Donation required to win free stuff

EIT

Okay everybody, the So You Think You Can Pong event benefiting non-profit children’s writing center 826NYC is tomorrow, and this is the last chance I have to stay in the top four to get my pick of celebrities to defeat in ping pong. Presently I’m in second place but only $15 ahead of the next guy, with two more people behind him making a late push.

So let’s do one more giveaway, shall we? Step 1: Make a donation to my team. Step 2: Email me your donation confirmation. Step 3: The person with the largest donation by 5:00 Eastern time tomorrow will receive a DVD of Everything Is Terrible: The Movie, featuring all the insanity of the YouTube clips created by Everything Is Terrible woven into a single story line (read the A.V. Club’s review here). Also, just so the winner gets a little taste of what 826NYC creates on a regular basis, I’ll throw in a copy of “Villainy Fair,” a pamphlet created in one of 826′s workshops in which adorable grade-school children created supervillain personas (personae?) for themselves.

One final note on tomorrow night’s tournament: as many of you noted, Jake Gyllenhaal has withdrawn from the competition, possibly due to crippling fear of embarrassment. As of this weekend, some of the rumored replacements were James Franco and Peter Saaarrrrrsgaaaarrrrd. Given that Gyllenhaal was leading in the polls for whom I should play, I reserve the right to choose Franco over Mike Myers should the opportunity arise. Thanks to all who have donated and offered helpful trash-talk suggestions.