Top Gear (BBC America) — Season premiere. This will never catch on in the States unless they re-name it “America’s Next Top Gear.” I really wish I gave a crap about cars, because the hosts of this show are great. Maybe they can run over Cesar Millan and take over his show. That would rule.
Damages (FX) — Season 3 premiere. I’ve never been all that into shows about lawyers, so this never snagged me, but the cast and the FX stamp of approval certainly make a compelling case. This season, Glenn Closes’s Patty Hewes will be going after a character based on Bernie Madoff. More on Season 3 here.
Chuck (NBC) — Chuck gets his first solo mission and tussles with guest villain Steve Austin. I can’t stress enough how hard I tried to like this show, yet the highest compliment I can give it is “cute.”
24 (Fox) — Is Renee Walker gonna have to choke a bitch? No? Well then, she’ll settle for power-sawing a thumb off.
Tracey Ullman’s State of the Union (Showtime) — Season 3 premiere. That means this has already gotten two more seasons than “The Tracey Ullman Show.” And last I checked, this one doesn’t have the Simpsons in it. Also getting debuts on Showtime tonight: Season 3 of “Secret Diary of a Call Girl” (which isn’t nearly as sexy as it sounds), and the series premiere of “La La Land,” starring Marc Wootton, who might be best described as a poor man’s Sacha Baron Cohen. Watch the trailer below.


Congratulations on making a point that applies to every single show, ever.
boning a Victoria’s Secret model > watching a Victoria’s Secret model on television? Profound.
driving cars > watching car shows
The other reason its hard to watch Top Gear on BBC America is they apparently have a retarded monkey doing the editing from the BBC version (they have to cut it down to fit in the commercials for US). The cuts between segments are horrible—sometimes they start a new segment without any intro at all. They also have to replace half of the music in order to re-air it on the cheap in the US. The most glaring example is the first Veyron race—the BBC version used Darth Vader’s theme whenever the car was on camera—in the US it was some weak classical music.
Not that I would do any such thing myself, but if you want to see Top Gear in full effect, you should really go to the US fansite, http://www.finalgear.com and find the links to the torrent downloads. Mmmm, tasty.
Brandon Routh is on Chuck now. That’s right. He and Bryan Singer fucked up Superman so bad that he has to do a guest stint on Chuck just to make people remember he is alive. Oh how the mediocre have fallen.
Also, roller coasters and track days.
Crab: For all the gear-teasing they do on that show, it does deliver on those episodes where the guys go on some random cross-continent voyage and bond like hell with some ancient cars, which any gearhead can relate to. Also, who doesn’t want to see a Nissan GT-R race the super efficient Japanese transit system?
I saw “Chuck” on a cross-country flight. The best part was John Larroquette as guest star. The rest of the show was lame.
Watching Top Gear is more frustrating than watching porn. You watch all these amazing cars go 200 mph and there is no outlet to release your frustration of not being able to afford a $200,000 car. You cant just go out and simulate going 200 mph.
I’ll say it: Glenn Close is a handsome woman.
Top Gear is so popular because it appeals to non-car people as well. I suspect the delay in airing is so they could cut some serious America bashing out of the show this season.
I am The Stig.