FAT PEOPLE ARE DESPICABLE
02.05.10Here’s the trailer (video below) for “Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution,” which debuts on ABC March 26th. Oliver is the English chef who focuses on healthier diets with fewer processed foods and who ran a campaign to overhaul school lunches in the United Kingdom. In “Food Revolution,” he takes his healthy-eating outlook to Huntington, West Virginia, which is supposedly the unhealthiest city in America.
I really have to give ABC credit for putting together a compelling trailer. Within the first minute, I loathed everyone in Huntington and wanted them to all to go into diabetic comas and have their feet amputated. The fat bastards really seem to take pride in eating processed crap, and they have no qualms serving pizza for breakfast to children who can’t even identify tomatoes.
Of course, since it’s family-oriented ABC, the narrative demands that people undergo a heartwarming change. So by the end of the video, you get the feeling that Oliver has transformed a town of husky skeptics into organic foodies. Which of course isn’t true. As soon as the cameras left they went right back to mainlining gravy.


i used to be one of those fatties. i started eating better. now i’m british like jamie oliver.
True story, I went to a gym in Germany where the televisions showed nothing but clips of fat people in motion. Fat people jogging (feebly), fat people chowing down, my favorite section was fat people falling over. I have no idea where they got these clips… Maybe Germany has a fat fetish channel or something… but it was wildly effective.
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If the zombie apocalypse hits, I’m STILL heading to Huntington West Vagina, since it’s guaranteed to be the one place where the zombies are too fat and slow to actually catch me.
*considers building a bunker out of adamantium first, to withstand their weighted bulk being used as a battering ram*
“The Fingers You Have Used to dial … are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm … now.”
Good point, Tim. But I think I remember reading that brains were composed primarily out of fatty tissue, so I figure this town would still be a pretty good source for all my fatty brain needs.
+1 Tim was Tim.
Zack – Don’t Zombies need to eat brains?
Is there a show in England where an American orthodontist goes around to small towns and tries to get everyone to embrace clean, straight teeth? USA! USA!
I wash myself with a rag on a stick.
Huntington is where Colts fans go on vacation.
That banner pic looks delicious, but I’m going to need a side of fries.
also, using the Japanese Battle Flag as his title graphic might seem a bit offensive by some; namely, fat Philipinos, fat Chinese and fat Australians.
I like it when Brits say ‘massive’ and when they WAIT GODDAMMIT HE’S CRYING NOW?!?!?!
If there’s ever a zombie apocalypse, and I get bitten and turned into a zombie and have an insatiable hunger for human flesh, I know exactly where I’m headed. Huntington, West Virginia.
“In ‘Food Revolution,’ he takes his healthy-eating outlook to Huntington, West Virginia…”
We don’t take kindly to people trying to prevent our inevitable poly-artery bypasses ’round these parts.
I’ll admit it, I’m a bit over weight, but would be considered anorexic by Huntington’s (more like Hungry-ton, hi five) standards.
Fat people are despicable.
Counterpoint: Rex Ryan. Epic.
I originally thought the Youtube video referred to the apocalyptic Book of Revelations, verse 3:26 — “And God shall strike down and smite all thou repellent fatties.” Maybe in 2012?
Pizza for breakfast? USA! USA! USA!
I knew Huntington was out of control when Marshall changed the athletics motto to “WE ARE… HUNGRY!!!”