Last week, my productivity churned to a halt when I watched the video of Alison Brie licking stuff for her Complex photo shoot approximately 17 times in a row. But the actual pictures from the photo shoot were not yet posted online, and so we were left wondering: sure, she looks super hot with a big rack on video, but is she super-hot with a big rack in still picture form? And the answer, my friends, is yes. Yes she is. Hard to believe, but true.
Also, I’d like to remind the world that part of Alison’s appeal is that she’s an excellent actress on two of my favorite shows. And she plays a buttoned-up sexpot just waiting to happen on both. RAWR! Wait, no — I mean, uh, I respect her nice rack. Dammit! Acting ability! That’s what I meant to say. I respect her acting ability. She really brings an intelligent vulnerability to my pants. I mean her characters!
I’m bad at this.
(Photos by Patrick Hoelck for Complex; metaphors in header added by me. I hope they weren’t too subtle.)
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She had me when she did the Charleston with Pete Campbell.
Dammit Matt, when you get up at the ass-crack and get all “productive like” with your posts it puts me behind in the commenting department.
What’s the point of posting my unique brand of hackneyed commentary if I know a bunch of people won’t be able to blow past it to write their own?
Whateva, I don’t even feel like commenting on Alison Brie now.
/unzips pants instead
The sun, still kind of hot.
Matt, you are obviously doing the Lord’s work.
INVESTIGATIVE FOLLOW-UP: ALISON BRIE STILL KIND OF ATTRACTIVE
This is the kind of journalism I can (and would like to) get behind.
@essequemodeia – You dislike me. Your argument is invalid.
I want to whore up her brown eye.
Why do you have to post this so early Matt? Now I won’t get a goddamn thing done all day while my laptop overheats and slows to a crawl.
My only complaint is that she isn’t wearing thigh highs in at least one of those pictures.
Get that whorry eye make up off of her, she’s meant to be all wholesome and cute. I’ll do the dirtyin’ up myself, thankyouverymuch.
You know how when you were in twelfth grade and the girl who sat beside you in English was pretty smokin’ for your extremely limited experience, and you fantasized about nailing her in your car during the friday night football game and she gets you when everybody else just doesn’t have a fix for you on their radars? But later you go to college and you begin to understand the larger world around you includes wonders the likes of which you couldn’t begin to imagine when you began to fantasize about Mary Jane Rottencrotch giving you the gas pedal while you stare up the bottom of her sun dress. Alison Brie is your tricked up little fantasy, and I’ll concede she’s attractive and a talented actor. But come on, man. I remained unmoved after watching her licking an ice cream cone. But hey, you’re satisfied with Betty Rubble, so that’s good, right?
Definitely one of the most underrated racks on TV right now…but well behind Annie Wersching on that list.