I GOT CONAN TICKETS, SLUTS
03.11.10Conan O’Brien released this morning the details of a 30-city tour of live shows beginning April 12th and running through mid-June (see full tour dates/locations below). He wrote on his Twitter, “Hey Internet: I’m headed to your town on a half-assed comedy & music tour. Go to http://TeamCoco.com for tix. I repeat: It’s half-assed.”
Team Coco also sent out a release in which Mr. O’Brien described his reasons for doing the tour. “It was either a massive 30-city tour or start helping out around the house,” Mr. O’Brien said. The release also indicated that the tour is being sponsored by American Express and ticket prices will start at $39.50. The release also promised that each show would be “a night of music, comedy, hugging, and the occasional awkward silence.” [NYT Media Decoder]
Naturally, as soon as I learned about this, I rushed to tell all my faithful readers. Nah, just kidding. The first thing I did was go to Ticketmaster and get tickets for myself. Then I spent like 25 minutes on that Photoshop. Then I went to the bathroom. Then my self-imposed deadline started bearing down on me, so I figured I better write this up.
Oh, and that $39.50 thing is nonsense. Two tickets for the Radio City Music Hall show cost me over $150 — thank you very much, $11-per-ticket “convenience” charge. And yes, I got TWO tickets. I always like to pretend that THIS is the time I won’t be selling my extra for face value. I’m so lonely. So, so lonely.
April 12: Hult Center for the Performing Arts in Eugene, Ore.
April 13: Orpheum Theater in Vancouver, British Columbia
April 16: INB Performing Arts Center in Spokane, Wash.
April 17: River Cree Resort & Casino in Enoch, Alberta
April 18: Seattle Center, Marion Oliver McCaw Hall, in Seattle
April 22: Nob Hill Masonic Center in San Francisco
April 24: Gibson Amphitheater in Universal City, Calif.
April 29: San Diego Civic Theater in San Diego
April 30: Dodge Theater in Phoenix
May 1: Pearl Concert Theater at The Palms in Las Vegas
May 4: Grand Sierra Resort & Casino in Reno, Nev.
May 5: San Jose State University Events Center in San Jose, Calif.
May 6: Sacramento Memorial Auditorium in Sacramento, Calif.
May 9: Mackey Auditorium in Boulder, Colo.
May 10: Ellie Caulkins Opera House in Denver
May 13: McFarlin Memorial Auditorium, SMU, Dallas
May 14: Austin Music Hall in Austin, Tex.
May 15: Brady Theater in Tulsa, Okla.
May 16: Midland Theater in Kansas City
May 18: Orpheum Theater in Minneapolis
May 19: Chicago Theater in Chicago
May 22: Massey Hall in Toronto
May 30: Borgata Spa & Resort Event Center in Atlantic City, N.J.
June 1: Radio City Music Hall in New York
June 4: Wang Theater in Boston [Ed. Note: hee hee!]
June 6: Mohegan Sun Arena in Uncasville, Conn.
June 7: Tower Theater in Upper Darby, Penn.
June 8: Constitution Hall in Washington
June 11: Bonnaroo Music Festival in Manchester, Tenn.
June 14: Fox Theater in Atlanta


#1: @Doug – Matt doesn’t come to your work and knock the dicks out of your mouth – leave it alone. (yes I’m aware of the unfortunate origins of the reference – I just think its really really applicable here).
#2: I call shenanigans on this loneliness thing. Everybody knows how much girls hate smart, funny, former marines who may or may not still have some sort of uniform. Yes, in my mind, there’s definitely a uniform. And maybe a banana.
@Ufford:
Tell him, Steve-Dave!
I think Conan’s afraid of running into Hilton again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrZA-4xNmEk
THE ONE TIME I ACTUAL PRETEND TO WORK AND NOT READ BLOGS!
Oh man he isnt coming to Charlotte??? Oh yeah, Charlotte sucks..
I tried and tried to get tickets. No dice. I will buy your other ticket and I’m not even kidding. What says “good times” like sitting next to a complete stranger for an awkward couple of hours? Nothing, that’s what.
and i was griping about Lebowskifest ticket prices….so you have Conan tickets AND sluts? kudos.
I got tickets for the Vancouver show for $60 each. That’s roughly $3.00 in US dollars, or five beaver pelts.
Ignore him Matt, your skills are awesome.
Enjoyed this one, Conan with white fat pussy and birthday dog, a dream team.
Doug, this is probably the four hundredth time I’ve had an exchange like this.
Commenter: Hey, you suck.
Blogger: Fuck you.
Commenter: Gosh, why so touchy? I was just insulting your work.
Sorry if sticking up for myself made you pull the “baby” card from third grade. Your words just sting so hard. Mercy. Please show me mercy, O Master of Wit.
@Oski, @toolongtag: F*** Dallas! Thinking about making the drive to Austin or just flying to SF for fun. Hell, you can fly to San Fran for less than the price of two tickets after paying Ticketmaster their general f***ing charge
I dunno, maybe less. It’s not like I have billable minutes. There’s a lot of trial and error that goes into it. “Hmmm… Birthday Dog or Sunglasses Cat?”
And just for good measure: fuck you.
Aww, I’m sorry. I forgot how proud you bloggers are of your mad ‘Shop skills. Didn’t mean hurt your inner child. How’s about a gold star and a smiley face? An A++?
I bought tix, but I’m not completely sold that Leno won’t come in and do this show at the last second.
I got tickets for the San Diego show on the 29th. I’ll let you know how awesome it is so you have a months worth of super-hyped anticipation.
Looks like I finally have a reason to go to Bonnaroo. I won’t let the scorching heat and wave of smelly hippies stop me.
I would volunteer to be your date, but I want to be guaranteed Wang that night, so I will stick with the show in Boston.
Oski, I feel your pain. We’re only the 4th largest city in the country.
Yeah! Well, I got 2 tickets for the US team’s games in Philly and Hartford.
/I got 1 ticket for each game, hence the two tickets
I too waited to let all of my friends know about Radio City until the last possible minute. Diskish? Yes. Worth it? Undoubtedly. Half-assed Conan is better than All-assed Leno.
Wait, that came out wrong.
Damn, he’s not coming to Houston. I guess the local venue could only schedule him for 2:00 AM.
You spent 25 minutes on that Photoshop?
I dunno, maybe less. It’s not like I have billable minutes. There’s a lot of trial and error that goes into it. “Hmmm… Birthday Dog or Sunglasses Cat?”
And just for good measure: fuck you.
You spent 25 minutes on that Photoshop?
I call bullshit. No one who has Conan tickets and sluts could possibly be lonely.
“the Gibson @ Universal Studios. Seems odd that he’ll be playing that Venue.”
I can’t wait until the pass out pitchforks and torches so we can storm the empty Tonight Show stage.
I GOT CONAN TICKETS, SLUTS
You got Conan tickets AND sluts? Quite a productive morning, sir.
Got my Tickets for the Gibson @ Universal Studios. Seems odd that he’ll be playing that Venue.
I was wanting Meet & Greet Tix, but not for $695 each. :(
I see your Wang Theater (er…wait) and raise you Nob Hill Center.
/dick joke
I blame Leno for him not coming to Florida.
That banner pic rules.
Ending the tour at Fox Theater. Foreshadowing?
How dare he go to someplace called Enoch but not CoCo-hio.