SNOOKI KILLED A KID
03.18.10Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi was criminally charged for selling booze to minors after a drunken driving accident led to the death of one of her classmates. The incident, which happened when Snooki was still in high school in 2004, was uncovered by Radar:
Snooki was one of three people charged in connection with the 2004 death of teenager Michael Truncali… The Marlboro High School senior died with a blood alcohol level of .18 — more than twice the legal limit — when he rolled his Mazda in the early hours of Thanksgiving morning after drinking for hours at Snooki’s house.
Actually, a BAC of .18 is infinity times the legal limit for someone who’s underage.
Anyway, the party happened at Snooki’s home with the approval (and presence) of Snooki’s mom, and now Truncali’s parents are expressing concern at the way “Jersey Shore” glorifies alcoholism. But those are heavy details that require some amount of analytical thought. Let’s focus on what matters: Snooki killed a dude. She should face some kind of punishment, and yet here it is, 2010, and we’re still not electrocuting reality TV stars. We’ve got a long way to go as a society.


Marlboro High? Their rivalry with Camel Unfiltered is legendary.
man, i hate to take snooki’s side, but here we are. She’s at fault because some retard can’t hold his liquor and decides to drive? Just Darwin at work. Or Jesus!
You mean a mom who produced Snooki might actually be irresponsible? Not sure about all that hullabaloo.
So that guy who punched her really a hero…I mean, even moreso.
Detective: Alright, we want you to try to identify the individual who supplied the alcohol.
Witness: Ok. I’ll try.
*the witness looks through two way glass, where the following are lined up against the wall from left to right: a jack o’lantern, an orange construction barrel, Snooki, and a meatball covered in orange paint*
Witness: [squinting hard] I don’t know. I can’t say for sure. Can you punch each one in the face?
Someone outta punch that bitch…
I think the punishment that she has to look like that the rest of her life is punishment enough.
Snooki is also responsible for killing my boner.
The Marlboro High School senior died with a blood alcohol level of .18
Testifying on behalf of Snooki, Ronnie insists he only had one shot, kid.
Yeah, and think about all the babies I’m killing when I’m looking at JWoww pics.
I can’t be the only one who was expecting a Snickers abortion snuff film.