The only real bone I have to pick with the Kesha (not typing Ke$ha out of protest) song “Your Love Is My Drug” concerns the fact that it is the worst song in the history of music. Now, hating the worst song in the world for being the worst song in the world is a pretty futile exercise that doesn’t serve anyone, so instead let’s concern ourselves with the fact that it wasn’t promptly obscured in some dusty record store promptly after being recorded. It was on Saturday Night Live.

Even this wouldn’t be a problem, since I took the liberty of skipping SNL this weekend, but there’s cause to mention it: Kesha’s performance appears to have been ripped off from a music video by the band Fake Problems. Kesha, like Fake Problems, performs a crappy song while wearing fluorescent body art under a black light.

There’s a highlight worth mentioning, though: at the end of the performance, Kesha asks, “It’s Saturday Night. Want to make out?” The audience declines to answer. I’ll answer: No thanks, lady: I already have a girlfriend! While it is true that I have fetishized the movie Tron, I would get fluorescent stuff all over me. There’s no way I wouldn’t get caught. Clearly you didn’t think things through here, which is sort of what this performance was all about, right?

[A firm handshake to reader Kyle.]