America’s Next Top Gumby: Ann
08.10.10The new season of “America Next Top Model” is about to begin and you can tell because of the frenzied preparations people are making not to watch it. Nevertheless, one of the contestants is freakishly tall and skinny, a look that is so
seldom seen in the modeling world that I had to rewrite this sentence four times just to give the logic time to cohere in my mind. The video promo posted above features Ann, a contestant from Dallas who is said to be 6’2″ tall and weigh fewer than 100 lbs.
In another development in rabid defiance of expectation, Ann was lauded by show host Tyra Banks for her skinniness. THE VERY THOUGHT! And feminists, quite shockingly roiled by the admiration of the uncommonly thin, are concerned that Tyra Banks, a woman who has promoted acceptance for plus-sized women, would not shriek in blood-curdling horror at the sight of Ann. Even if you’d break her in half if you so much as bent her backwards.
I’ll give you all a moment to process the many incredibly improbable ways this story has played out.

Tyra Banks vs. Jezebel? Gooooo meteor!
It’s a great way to lose weight before a show.
The facial expression of that black woman at the end of the video DEMANDS to be an animated gif.
Nice use of the “bended” in a verb form instead of as an adjective. Like saying “fishes” best done with a top hat and monocle.
You hurted my feelings.
For the first time in my life…Yes Fat Chicks.
Fuck you television
My D-cups > her 20 inch waist
She looks like she went through the pipe with Augustus Gloop.
@jrkumor
Your D-cups > My pants dry-cleaning bill