And the Emmy Goes to…
08.30.10
...those.
The Emmy Awards were last night, and as always they provided plenty of reasons for you to be pissed about your favorite show being snubbed. There are a few things you can count on at every Emmys ceremony:
- Hilarious, edgy shows like FX’s “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” and “Archer” will never get recognized.
- Some pud from a CBS comedy will win an Emmy.
- Christina Hendricks’s magnificent rack will be on display.
Other than that, it’s not really worth being surprised about anything. The Emmys can never decide whether they want to reward little-watched quality or the dreck that most of America watches, so it’s not like the Academy is some paragon of decision-making that we should be disappointed by.
Full list of winners (with my snappy commentary) after the jump.
COMEDY SERIES:
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Modern Family
Glee
Nurse Jackie
The Office
30 Rock
I love “Modern Family,” and it’s the best of the nominated shows, but whoever was in charge of the nominations was clearly the recipient of an unsuccessful abortion. Nurse F*cking Jackie over the likes of “Community” and “Always Sunny” is a joke. Oh well. At least “Two and a Half Men” wasn’t nominated.
DRAMA SERIES:
Breaking Bad
Dexter
The Good Wife
Lost
Mad Men
True Blood
This is the third consecutive win for “Mad Men.” Obviously, I love the show, but I think it benefits from being on the air when voters cast their ballots. It’s like how Oscar bait always gets released in December. “Durr, I remember this show!”
At least “Lost” didn’t win. There was some serious gnashing of teeth by Losties last night when the show got a big fat goose egg, but I’m happy it didn’t get any sympathy wins just because the series ended. That at least shows that Emmy voters aren’t as dumb as Oscar voters. Lookin’ at you, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.
OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Lea Michele, Glee
Julia Louis Dreyfuss, New Adventures of Old Christine
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Toni Collette, The United States of Tara
Part of Falco’s acceptance speech: “I’m not funny.” That pretty much says it all.
OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES:
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Larry David, Curb Your Enthusiasm
Tony Shalhoub, Monk
Steve Carell, The Office
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Matthew Morrison, Glee
Hard to say that this is a surprise. Parsons carries a show that’s wildly popular. Anyway, we shouldn’t put too much stock in a category that featured a nomination for Tony Shalhoub in “Monk.”
OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES:
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights
Hugh Laurie, House
Matthew Fox, Lost
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
I was surprised that Cranston won for the third consecutive year, because it’s well deserved.
OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
Glenn Close, Damages
Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: SVU
January Jones, Mad Men
Yeah, I don’t know. Seriously, how can voters correctly pick Bryan Cranston from a terrific lineup of actors, then turn around and think that Sedgwick and her lousy Southern accent on a dull TNT show is better than Connie Britton or January Jones or even Julianna Margulies? It’s best not to think about it.
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Chris Colfer, Glee
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
Ty Burrell, Modern Family
Jon Cryer, Two And A Half Men
No complaints about the winner. I think Stonestreet’s great, but WTF is up with the nominations? Three guys from “Modern Family” but no love for Danny Pudi in “Community” or Nick Offerman in “Parks and Rec”? Bullsh*t.
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
Martin Short, Damages
Terry O’Quinn, Lost
Michael Emerson, Lost
John Slattery, Mad Men
Andre Braugher, Men Of A Certain Age
Shocking, shocking win. I can’t say Paul doesn’t deserve it — he was the keystone of the harrowing fourth third season of “Breaking Bad” — but I was sure that O’Quinn or Emerson would get it for “Lost.” Also: who invited Martin Short?
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Jane Lynch, Glee
Julie Bowen, Modern Family
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock
Holland Taylor, Two And A Half Men
Deserved.
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Sharon Gless, Burn Notice
Rose Byrne, Damages
Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife
Christine Baranski, The Good Wife
Christina Hendricks, Mad Men
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Whatever.
REALITY COMPETITION PROGRAM
American Idol
Amazing Race
Dancing With The Stars
Project Runway
Top Chef
This breaks the streak of seven straight wins for “The Amazing Race,” and it’s a well-deserved win. That last season of “Top Chef” was terrific. Especially the part where Padma showed up pregnant with a new haircut.
OUTSTANDING VARIETY, MUSIC OR COMEDY SERIES
The Colbert Report
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Saturday Night Live
Real Time With Bill Maher
Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien
That’s something like eight straight wins for Stewart. I think “The Daily Show” is great, but it really should have gone to Colbert or Conan. Oh, and Bill Maher deserves a nomination about as much as Bill O’Reilly.
OTHER EMMY WINNERS:
Miniseries: “The Pacific,” HBO.
Made-for-TV Movie: “Temple Grandin,” HBO.
Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Al Pacino, “You Don’t Know Jack,” HBO.
Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Claire Danes, “Temple Grandin,” HBO.
Supporting Actor, Miniseries or Movie: David Straithairn, “Temple Grandin,” HBO.
Supporting Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Julia Ormond, “Temple Grandin,” HBO.
Guest Actress in a Drama Series: Ann Margaret, “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit,” NBC.
Guest Actor in a Drama Series: John Lithgow, “Dexter.”
Guest Actress in a Comedy Series: Betty White, “Saturday Night Live.”
Guest Actor in a Comedy Series: Neil Patrick Harris, “Glee.”
Directing for a Comedy Series: Ryan Murphy, “Glee.”
Directing for a Drama Series: Steve Shill, “Dexter.”
Directing for a Miniseries or Movie: Mick Jackson, “Temple Grandin,” HBO
Directing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Special: Bucky Gunts, “Vancouver 2010 Olympic Winter Games, Opening Ceremonies,” NBC. [NOTE: More on this later.]
Writing for a Drama Series: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy, “Mad Men.”
Writing for a Comedy Series: Steven Levitan and Christopher Lloyd, “Modern Family.”
Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Special: “63rd Annual Tony Awards,” CBS.
Writing for a Miniseries, Movie or Dramatic Special: Adam Mazer, “You Don’t Know Jack,” HBO
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Your avatar fits nicely, FavreFAIL.
As a gay male (or a man mayo guzzling rump rager) even I can say that Christina Hendricks is fucking gorgeous as fuck. A fatty? The lady has curves – just because she’s not some anorexic crackwhore like a Kate Moss doesn’t mean she’s unattractive. And unless you’re in the best shape of your life and ripped as shit, you really don’t have any place to be calling a starlet a “fatty.”
On another note, Kyra Sedgwick was a fucking abortion of a choice. I was happily convinced that she would forever be consigned to Golden Globes, but no more. She’s one of those actors/actresses that are terrible but the voters love for whatever inexplicable reason. Really, we are in a pretty damn good era of television and it seems like it would be hard to fuck up an awards choice these days, yet they still surprise us.
Roscoe must have a tiny penis cause Christina Hendricks is SMOKING hot.
I would come on Christina Hendricks so hard…
Roscoe is obviously a man mayo guzzling rump ranger
“Five time mammory award winner Helen Mirren faces some STIFF competition from Christina Hendricks.”
I like it, I say pitch it to Spike, those guys will put anything on TV if it sounds like a Maxim article idea.
Christina Hendricks should win the Emmy for huge tits having.
The award you’re thinking of is the Mammory. Common mistake.
Why does January Jones always look 10x better done up as Betty Draper?
When did Willem Dafoe get those giant implants?
Kudos to the shout-out for Danny Pudi in Community. Dude is one of the most original characters on TV right now.
I certainly hope Christina’s bra won Best Supporting Garment in a Drama.
Demolition Man says:
If you like the fourth season, Matt; you’re going to lose your shit when you see the finale for season twelve.
See, it’s funny because I made a small mistake, and the movie Demolition Man happens in the future. Fucking hilarious. I’m dying over here.
The Emmys shouldn’t allow speeches, and the Cleos should allow Duck Phillips and Roger Sterling to give speeches.
And you Christina Hendricks haters can go to hell and die.
If you like the fourth season, Matt; you’re going to lose your shit when you see the finale for season twelve.
“he was the keystone of the harrowing fourth season of “Breaking Bad””
Are you from the future?!?
Whenever an acceptance speech includes phrases like “I don’t deserve this,” I think the award should be taken back and given to someone else.
That anyone from Two and a Half Men was nominated for anything makes me question the existance of a just and loving God. Whoever voted for Jon Cryer should be shot… out of a cannon.
Emily > Zooe… wait, which set of attractive women are we arguing about this time?
Yes, she has big tits. She also has an axe-handle ass. I guess I don’t share others’ infatuation with Hendricks.
Aaron Paul winning was the only good point. He started off pretty generic yo, but has gotten better and better.
Jones > Hendricks
The fact that SoA wasn’t nominated for anything is also bullshit.
I also expect Bucky Gunts to be a 2011 Name of the Year participant, he is the Rusty Kuntz (old baseball player for those who don’t know) of Variety, Music or Comedy Special directors.
I gotta agree with the guy over at wwtdd and say that I don’t get Christina Hendricks. She’s a fatty. The redheaded vampire from True Blood is a lot hotter and she’s skinny with big tits. As for the Emmy’s, the best shows never win. Hell most of them are never even nominated. Curb… was outstanding last season and yet it lost to Modern Family, which is ok, but only has about one really funny part per episode. How anyone from Glee was nominated is beyond me. I guess the voters confused “haha” funny with “don’t you think the guy who wears hot pants and sings Abba is a little funny” funny.
Double Secret Serious Cat: Christina Hendricks should win the Emmy for huge tits having.
Serious Cat: I’d never fucking heard of ‘The Good Wife’ before today.
Given her face in that picture, she’s lucky to have those boobs.
Bucky Gunts
I apologize in advance for my rant…
This is why I don’t watch the Emmys. Amazing Race and Mad Men having winning streaks is fucking B-O-R-I-N-G. All award shows are self-congratulatory, masturbatory awful-fests, but at least with the Oscars you have new nominees every year.
It was like when Sex and the City was on TV–you knew they were going to win best comedy, so what’s the point?