The new “Dancing with the Stars” cast will be announced on Monday night, which means I’ll probably have to write about it on Tuesday. But Bristol Palin’s name leaked yesterday, and everyone’s talking about it, so I should mention it, too.

So, yes: Bristol Palin, the dim-witted spawn of the dim-witted vice-presidential candidate, will be on ABC’s biggest reality competition. Other rumored cast members are Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino from “Jersey Shore,” David Hasselhoff, Audrina Patridge, and Brandy. Brandy? Brandy who? Oh, you mean “Moesha”? I’m sorry, but you need to stay famous if you want to keep going by one name.

Anyway, you can read all about it somewhere else. If anyone needs me, I’ll be over here making this dismissive wanking motion.