This Is Art.
08.31.10You don’t need to watch “Jersey Shore” to appreciate JWoww and the handiwork of Rich over at fourfour. He created this magnificent GIF wall (altered slightly to fit Warming Glow’s format) as part of his weekly recap, The Lessons of Jersey Shore.
There’s really no other word for this than “art.” This is the Starry Night of tit-squeezing. Actually, I should keep the art metaphor Italian in deference to Guido culture: Mona Lisa’s been updated for the 21st century, and she got a boob job.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.wg.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/full-throttle-main-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wg.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/jenniferlovehewitt819-150x150.jpg)
whatever, I’m so tierd of fake Boobs. If there was a boob contest and some fakies entered I would still give high marks for real titty bitties over big fake cans
Who the fuck invited Party McPooperson?
COUNTERPOINT: Fake breasts are larger. HOORAY!
alrighty then
FAKE
ACHTUNG, GALS! Please save augmentation for reconstructive needs like after an auto crash.
Please don’t undergo surgery to get your boobs to look different, because implants impair the snuggliness of the actual touch. and only the very best bbjobs look even OK. the rest look like bolt ons (see above) or worse. at least try the following methods first
Ladies, if you want larger (or firmer) breasts get someone worthy to massage you gently and firmly in an upwards direction with a blend of 25 drops each steam distilled ylang ylang oil and fennel in 3 – 4 oz of cold pressed sesame, almond or hazelnut oil daily three weeks per month for a season or two while making good food choices and getting plenty of enjoyable physical activity.
Eat sweet potatoes they are better than OK, swt pots and yams contain phyto estrogens that promote growth and even make birth of twins more likely. They’ll nourish your twins, too. Avoid coffee, blk tea, soft drinks, artificial sweeteners, white sugar, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant and white potatoes.
Anyway, that works and there are a few companies that make similar natural products and herbal supplements. I can vouch for at least one of them works very well. not only did my gf get a fabulous rejuvenation HALLELUJAH! after losing some weight had left her boobs sorta saggy , but also my sister tried it and reported after two bottles that her bras were tighter and her silhouette fuller and she seemed pretty happy about it.
another skinny gal totally raved about it to me at the store. I won’t tell you which brand, because I am not here to spam you, but to save your succulent titties from the butchery
My gf may be history, but the memory of each and every naked boob I’ve ever touched persists <3
Real and natural*, large or small, only four thus far have failed to thrill me – and those gals I wasn't that into if ya know what I mean. But then again I suppose some men may enjoy the texture hardening concrete, so I reserve juggement. Being all juggmental is all the rage on the internet…
* "'cuz they're real if you can touch them" — strippers lowering the bar for acceptability
*looks at $10,000,000 painting on wall of Warhol’s soup cans.
*looks at screen
Ah gad dammit
I fully support the squeezing of breasts, but I’m not a fan of fake ones. Especially a pair so hard and tightly packed as J-Woww’s. Pair that with her leathery face, cigarette -marred voice and bi-polar disorder and I’m really underwhelmed here. Dare I said it, I’d almost rather see a gif of Snookie doing the same thing.
Still, titties.
Goddamn slow loading uproxx leading to my inept double posts
/still wants some milk
Milk. I really really want some milk.
/preferably directly from JWOWW’s magnificent udders
//and then I want to fuck those udders
I’d let her wash my ferrari anytime.
Milk. I really really want some milk.
/preferably directly from JWOWW’s magnificent udders
True story: one time my mouth said, “I wouldn’t have sex with JWOWW. She looks ridiculous,” and my penis burst out of my pants and said, “Whoawhoawhoa. Easy there, cowboy.”
Between this and the Audrina picture, you are really trying to get us fired, aren’t you?
Get that money, girls.