Ha Ha, Oprah’s Ratings Are Down
09.15.10With Oprah’s much-ballyhooed final season getting underway (and posing an economic burden to the people of Australia), you’d think chubby bored mothers would turn out in droves to watch their god bellow celebrity names. Well, you’d be wrong. Oprah’s ratings are down from last season. WHO’S YOUR MESSIAH NOW?
Monday’s premiere of the of “The Oprah Winfrey Show” actually fell short of topping the ratings both nationally and locally for Winfrey’s penultimate 24th season opener last year, which featured an interview with singer Whitney Houston, much in the news at the time.
The 25th season opener Monday pulled a 7.8 national rating (9 million households), compared to an 8.0 (9.3 million) for the season debut in 2009. [Sun-Times]
All in all, her numbers were down 2.5%, and a CBS spokesman blamed that on the delayed U.S. Open final airing at the same time. Because if there’s one thing tubby housewives like better Oprah, it’s elaborate sexual fantasies featuring Rafael Nadal. Not that I blame them. Dude’s pretty hot.
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When reached for comment Oprah’s Minge was notably excited about the dip in ratings and added, “Maybe now she’ll take me and Gary to Paris.”
Pfft. Everyone knows Kurt Cobain is the real messiah.
/shoots heroin
//slits wrists
Oprah’s ratings being down is proof that there is still hope for America.
Now if we can just get rid of “Doctors” Phil and Oz, my mother will officially have nothing to talk about ever again.
Because if there’s one thing tubby housewives like better Oprah, it’s elaborate sexual fantasies featuring Rafael Nadal.
The really freaky housewives dream mostly about his backhand.
It makes no sense. What Oprah lost to tennis, she should have gained with crackheads due to Whitney.
Heeee heeeeeeee
Jesus. Jesus is still my messiah.
Wait, was that rhetorical?
Bobby Brown would kill you if you ever messed up 7.8 and 8.0 (grams)