IN! THE! FAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!
09.08.10People on the Internet have a tendency to abuse hyperbole. You can’t go a single day without something being declared the “Best. _____. Ever.” But please, don’t brush off my declaration that this is probably the single greatest clip from a reality show that I’ve ever season.
This is an early look at the coming season of “The Amazing Race,” and a female contestant has to use a giant slingshot to fire watermelons at a suit of armor. Except she does something awesomely wrong, and the watermelon comes rocketing back and smashes her squarely in the face. It’s FANTASTIC. It puts the “amazing” in “Amazing Race.” In no other way could a TV show get away with this. Reality TV producers are scum, but even they could never devise a way to fire watermelons at high speed into people’s faces. Maybe in Japan, but not here.

(thanks to Mick; higher-quality video here)

That girl deserved to win just for that. Game over. Where’s Phil?
Teammate: So, yeah, I hope your face is okay and all, but, like, I’m not going to have my dream of being a reality-tv-contest winner ruined just because you can’t think fast when the melon-slingshot backfires. Get back to work.
haha, Alfredo. Ah, the old ACME citrullus lanatus catapult.
/two Latin uses in one day. *Polishes monocle. Scratches balls*
ahem …
is it greedy of me to expect a FULL SCREEN option for this video? Come on, internet…
MAGNIFICENT. If that Renaissance queer in the jester getup had any sort of devotion to his craft, he’d jump up and down like a maniac and say something like, “…and the Russian judges?”
Also:
“They don’t call it the Amazing Race for nothing”
(LOL; *dismissive wank*)
It’s perfect, in every way.
+1 other girl saying “Cmon, right in the kisser” moments beforehand
+1 knees just millimeters out of fruit path
+1 slow motion replay (nice work, CBS)
+1 other girl nagging her to keep going when (+1) “I can’t see straight”
-1 no consolation lesbian makeout party
Oh, well. It was almost perfect.
It’s good to see Wile E Coyote doing some consulting for reality television.
I can’t feel my face
//immediately feels face
“What do we do now?”
This is America, we sue, bitch!
She should have gotten an immediate pass on the mission. Hitting yourself in the face is WAY harder than hitting that knight.
Was gallager the producer of this show?
Reparations.
/dying at “SLAUGHTERMELON!”
Oh, shit! It’s like the Zapruder film. Her head snaps back and to the left. I think there was a second watermelon shooter on the grassy knoll.
SLAUGHTERMELON!
IT SHOULDA BEEN YOU, GALLAGHER.
To be honest, I still prefer Paula Dean’s fatass getting hit with a ham. Hamkakke > Melonkakke
It’s funny cause she’s a home shopping channel host
Uff, you MUST do this for your bday/charity bukkake.
“I can’t feel my face” bwahahahaha (Ow, I think I pulled something). bwahahahahaha
haven’t seen a face that messy since last nights SOA…
too soon?
Best. Watermelon. Ever!
“HOLY SHIT! WHAT A HIT! HOLY SHIT WHAT A FUCKIN’ HIT!”
-Rex Ryan
Jesus. The only thing this video is missing is Jackie O on the back of a convertible.
Melonkakke girl’s partner: unfeeling robot, or unfeelingest robot ever? But I like her Kathleen Turner-style smoky-voice.
I wanna dip my balls in it.
Watermelon in the face if we get to $12000?
Nice hustle, watermelon.
can’t type, laughing too hard… “you’ve got to finish”……
fruit-kakke.
“Ut tensio, sic vis”
She took it rather well. I may be in love.
This clip should be tagged NSFW, there’s no way I can walk around the office with this raging hard-on.
Good lord. It’s like a fruit-of-the-loom gang rape.
I was hoping that juggler was going to get hit in the face.