Nice whiskers.

IFC has unveiled an aggressive development slate of eight original new shows, and while there looks to be some cool stuff I might like (a cartoon by David Wain and Ken Marino, for example), the series that’s sure to captivate America is a reality series about growing facial hair — from the executive producer of “Ice Road Truckers” and “Deadliest Catch,” no less.

“Whisker Wars” A non-fiction series set in the world of competitive facial hair growing which profiles a group of men from the National Beard and Mustache Championship in Bend, Oregon to the World Competition in Norway. Produced by Original Productions, a FremantleMedia Company; executive produced by Thom Beers and Philip D. Segal, co-executive produced by  Jeff Conroy.

I don’t mean to sound like the overly defensive veteran here, but can we start regulating the use of “wars” in television show titles? The war I went to featured guns, artillery, mortars, explosions, burning buildings, and the pungent smell of death as corpses rotted in the streets. On TV there’s “Wedding Cakes Wars,” “Whale Wars,” “Cupcake Wars,” and now “Whisker Wars.” Those shows are about cake, hippies, cake, and facial hair. How about instead of calling these shows “Wars,” we use a more accurate term? Something like “the farthest thing possible from war.”