Charlie Sheen was rushed to the hospital this morning in an ambulance following what appears to have been a long night of partying with skanks to Red Hot Chili Peppers songs. Unfortunately, the “Two and a Half Men” star’s condition is not life-threatening. TMZ says:

Two young women exited the house at the same time Charlie was taken out with a towel partially over his face.

Sources say Charlie was having severe abdominal pains which triggered the 911 call. Stan Rosenfield, Charlie’s publicist, tells TMZ Charlie was in the emergency room this morning — sleeping.

Neighbors tell TMZ Charlie threw some sort of party last night. They heard women inside Charlie’s house singing Red Hot Chili Peppers songs throughout the evening. The party went on — loudly — well into the wee hours.

I can’t decide what I want more: for Charlie Sheen to die of an overdose, or for him to get fired by CBS. Ooh! Maybe he can get fired by CBS and then overdose and die. Oh man, that would be FANTASTIC. The world will be set free from the tyranny of “Two and a Half Men” and that stupid-ass theme song.

Seriously, when he dies I’m gonna run outside and hug strangers.