The Sheen Pyramid of Greatness
03.02.11
Well, I suppose this was inevitable: Charlie Sheen’s soundbites of insanity have been appropriated for The Charlie Sheen Pyramid of Greatness based off the original Ron Swanson Pyramid from “Parks and Recreation.” As you might expect, “WINNING” is the capstone. You can peruse the high-resolution version here, but in the meantime here are a couple of my favorite entries:
US — Rhymes with “winning,” anyone? That’ll be us.
IT’S ON — Sorry, America. I said it.
MY BRAIN — You’d be like, “Unplug this bastard!”
SHRINKS — Bring me Dr. Clownshoes!
I know that we’re reaching the point in the news cycle where we’re starting to get Charlie Sheen fatigue, but I have to stress what a landmark pop cultural event we’re experiencing right now. In the span of a week, I went from hating Charlie Sheen for being a drug-abusing misogynist to standing in awe of his addictive cult of personality. He’s still the same A-hole he’s always been, yet he’s won me over with his relentless, delusional silver-surfing of the media tsunami. He cured me of my hatred for him WITH HIS MIND. He blinked and it was gone. Can’t is the cancer of happen, people.
[created by Deuce of Clubs, via Laughing Squid and BuzzFeed]
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![[image]](http://cdn.wg.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/05/ben-wyatt-150x150.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.wg.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/05/swanson-dance-150x150.gif)
I’m disappointed at the lack of Vatican Assasins, but thrilled by the inclusion of the pure and complete gnarlyisms.
You know what’s funny? After all the love and shit that went on last night, Sheen might never see his kids again. The journey to a permanent injunction starts with a TRO, and if a judge grants that, it looks pretty good for the temporary injunction, and, in turn, the permanent injunction.
SEMIPRO TIP: Publicly bragging that you bang seven gram rocks in one sitting NEVER helps your TI case in front of Judge Goldberg.
UPSIDE [sic?]: His only stated reason for not regressing into Partytime Chaz was “family.” Hijinks ensue!
Have to concur with Ufford here. Charlie Sheen is a horrible human being and everyone should be completely sick of him by now… but I’m not. I feed off of his pure, unadulterated crazy.
SIGN THE FACEBOOK PETITION TO DEMAND CHARLIE SHEEN HOST THE 2012 OSCARS
Banging 7 gram rocks and porn girls is just so fucking epic!!! I repeat 7 fucking gram rocks…Yes! Yes! and Yes! (but if that is seriously true, a) amazing he is not dead and b) that dude is going to be high for about the next 3 months straight) Yes, as we mortals all know a warlock with a penchant for domestic abuse is not cool at all, but damn, the other stuff and his crazy is just so dazzling it’s outshining all the darkness!
@Lenny,
Normally I ignore these facebook things, but if it can get a F/A-18 deploying his tiger blood ordnance on the Oscars I am all in.
WINNING!
“Can’t is the cancer of Happen.” Oh yeah? Well, Should’ve is the Type-II diabetes of Procrastinate.
I’ve been waiting for the Hitler in the bunker shouting Sheenisms video. I’m still waiting. C’mon, internets!
[www.buzzfeed.com]