I’ve always said that gambling makes everything better, but I never thought to apply it to something that already brings me joy: Charlie Sheen getting fired from “Two and a Half Men.” Fortunately, the bookies at Paddy Power are taking bets on how Charlie Harper will exit the show when the CBS sitcom returns with Ashton Kutcher in Sheen’s place:

Drives his car off a cliff 11/10
Leaves via airport with Rose 5/4
Gets shot in a crime of passion 3/1
By accidental poisoning 6/1
Gets hit by lightning 14/1
Surfing accident 20/1
Jail sentence 25/1
Joins a monastery 50/1
Taken into the Witness Protection Program 50/1
Gets lost at sea 66/1
A piano falls on him 200/1
Elope with Bertha 250/1

The best thing about this is that Paddy Power is taking other possibilities by request. I’m already thinking about putting putting $50 on “Drug overdose.” Or “raped to death in prison.” Or “instantaneous death from super-AIDS.” Or “trampled by bulls in Pamplona, then spending 18 months learning how to walk again before losing genitals to office shredder, then losing an agonizing 30-month battle with rectal cancer.” I’m just spit-ballin’. Feel free to use these, CBS.

[via Aol TV]