BREAKING AWESOME AND HILARIOUS NEWS: Noted douche clothier Abercrombie & Fitch is offering to pay the cast members of “Jersey Shore,” specifically The Situation, to stop wearing their clothes. Lay it on me, Wall Street Journal:

The New Albany, Ohio company released a statement Tuesday evening titled “A Win-Win Situation,” in which it stated a “deep concern” over the association between Mr. Sorrentino and the brand. A&F offered up a “substantial payment” to Mr. Sorrentino “to wear an alternate brand.”

“We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans,” the statement read.

The company also extended the pay-to-not-play offer to the other Jersey Shore reality stars and said it was “urgently waiting a response.”

Unlike my alter ego Danger GuerrerBro, I’m no fan of Abercrombie & Fitch. If I’m spending $100 for a tattered and faded hoodie, it better have been worn by a former cast member of “The O.C.” and/or have a handful of $20′s stuffed into the pouch. But this? This is fine by me. I’ll support almost anything done in the name of LOLs and sticking it to the jamooks on “Jersey Shore.” Also, the WSJ story features this explanation of The Situation, which is so Wall Street Journaly that it’s practically satire:

Mr. Sorrentino, one of the most popular characters on the show, is known for lifting up his shirt off to reveal his abdomen muscles, more often flashing the logo on the waistband of his underwear.

OO, OO! DO SNOOKI NEXT! In summation, Abercrombie done good and the Wall Street Journal should do more stories about “Jersey Shore” cast members.

Thanks to Burnsy for the tip.