In middle school, I would occasionally feign illness so I could stay home and watch “The Jerry Springer Show,” which celebrates 20 years on the air this Friday. What attracted me to the show is that it held nothing back. “Maury,” “The Montel Williams Show,” and other early-afternoon tabloid talk shows (more like YELL shows, amirite?) felt too restrained, like they could have gotten a lower class of people to make fun of, but didn’t. “Springer,” though, broadcast the scum of America to millions of viewers, and encouraged the most vile humans to share their sick, twisted fantasies (and realities) with the world.

But that’s pretty much the “plot” of every reality show now. So what does an episode of “The Jerry Springer Show” look like in 2011? Is it trashier? Are there more gimmicks? To figure this out, I watched a recent episode (“Trannies Tell All”) to find out.

“The Jerry Springer Show,” rated TV-14, begins with the warning you see above, because not 20 seconds later, there are teasers for the upcoming episode involving fighting transvestites. Although it’s a close call, the “you got played, I’m a man” sneak peek sounds more intriguing than “[she] was looking for Julio, but she found Julisia instead.” But it’s really close.

The braindead-looking audience still shouts “JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!” Like the Tomahawk Chop, it’ll never go away. Like the Tomahawk Chop, it’ll always be awful. I bet Jerry recorded the chant and has it for his ring tone. I GUARANTEE he makes any women he brings to bed say it to him. Has he ever slept with someone from the show? Oh, and he now enters the show by sliding down a stripper pole.

The episode’s topic:

“So, I used to wear men’s clothing. Now I wear women’s. TOLD ALL.”