Yesterday, my head exploded when I watched this local news report about teenagers getting drunk by putting vodka-
soaked tampons into their vaginas (or rectums) and also by using beer bongs for alcohol enemas. After I cleaned up the gray matter on my wall and reassembled the pieces of my skull, my head re-exploded to learn that the vodka-soaked tampon had been used as a punchline on “30 Rock.”
Now, to top it all off, here’s a 2008 clip from “The Doctors” that covers both vodka tampons and anal bongs. How did I never know about all this? Here I am, drinking my alcohol like a sucker.
I feel so old. Whatever happened to teenagers just huffing spray paint and lighting fireworks? That was plenty stupid and dangerous for young people when I was in high school.
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Who voluntarily hosts a beer-enema party? The clean-up must be nightmarish.
Also, these kids’ flippy cup games must be mind-boggling.
Oh, like stealing a bottle of Wild Turkey from dad’s liquor cabinet and drinking it in a wooded area is so hard. Why are they making things so needlessly complicated?
Does this work if I soak my dick in vodka?
And if it doesn’t, can I at least tell the 19 year olds that do this it does?
Hot Lady Doctor: “That is just going to destroy the vagina.”
That’s what she said, lady doctor. That’s what she said.
*hip thrusts to “Doctor, Doctor*
Further proof kids are getting more stupid. Sounds like a waste of good alcohol and tampons.
Anal bongs? Hoo boy…
I didn’t like the taste of liquor as a teenager. That’s why god made Peachtree Schnapps (and wine coolers…which totally dates me).
I just hope these kids have label makers. It’d be gross to mix up the mouth beer bong with the butt beer bong.
Gay guys are the best at doing anal keg stands
My buddy used to work at Publix and he’d take the trash to the dumpster out back each morning and he said there were always a ton of those little bottles of vanilla extract all over the ground. They later found out that homeless people were sticking them up their butts because it got them wasted.
Why has GOD taken Andy Rooney now, when we need his commentary on what the young people do more than ever?!
I still prefer to do my vodka shots through my eye.
I believe this was also done on SVU. If I remember correctly an opera singer wanted to get obliterated nightly, but not lose their singing voice. So there it was.
Have you ever tasted pure vanilla extract? That stuff is just under straight vodka on the “oh god why did I drink that” scale.
They should use grain alcohol, add some fire and you have yourself a fire crotch.
My son is an intelligent, thoughtful person, now. When he was a teenager, hoo boy, total retard. Prepare yourselves parents of young children.
It’s all fucking Steve-O’s fault. Didn’t he do that shit in one of the Jackass movies?