These Kids Are Terrible
12.29.11“Legends of the Hidden Temple” was one of a handful of game shows Nickelodeon made in the 1990s that featured kids competing in physical events to try to win prizes. For the show’s final event, the two-person team that survived a number of preliminary challenges would try to navigate the temple to retrieve an “artifact,” while dodging the temple guards who were there to protect it (in hindsight, having a half-dressed man jump out of the shadows to grab unsuspecting kids was awfully abduct-y, right?). If they got to the artifact before time ran out, they would win the grand
prize and the envy of everyone under age 14 — except the kids who won a piece of the Aggro Crag on “GUTS,” who all probably died before their 18th birthdays of high five related injuries.
All that preamble brings me to this point: the kids in this video are the worst. Their attempted navigation of the temple features more backtracking, meandering, and questionable logic than a drunk trying to walk home from a bar in a strange city. As someone who spent a huge chunk of his childhood watching these kinds of shows and yelling at the TV when people made mistakes, it makes me FURIOUS. They’re a disgrace to Olmec. I won’t stand for it.
Big ups to Holly for the tip.

Watching this is stressing me out.
That kid was wearing adult diapers right?
How did these kids make it to the temple? Were the other teams competing while blindfolded? With their hands tied behind their backs? Drunk?
Legends of the Hidden Temple never gets the respect it deserves. Perhaps it was the terrible host in khaki shorts with the tucked in shirt that dragged it down. Mike O’Malley/Moe, Marc Summers, Donnie Jeffcoat/Omar Gooding all make him seem so worthless.
You gotta feel for him though, he was trying to hard to get these stupid weiner kids to finish this damn thing. I feel like he was seconds away from just running up there to grab them and drag them to the correct place.
God I miss watching Marc Summers humiliate families with physical challenges.
I hope these kids died.
I never watched this show, but watching these kids have their hopes crushed really made my day.
Anyone else get pre-teen boners for Summer Sanders on that Figure It Out show?. Just me? That show was terrible.
I remember nothing about that show, but the name Summer Sanders definitely triggers some primal urge for me to hump the couch.
OH. YEAH. She could have figured me out whenever she wanted. (I speak in the past tense because I have no idea what she’s doing/looks like now.)
She is going to be on a Food Network show starting next week
Peeked my interest so i had to Figure It Out…sorry I’ll show myself out.
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Oh, so she’s Edie Falco now?
please, for the love of god, bring back nick GaS.
“Fun House with JD Roth” or GTFO
I was waiting for Kirk to scream “Press the other fucking buttons!!!” because that would’ve been my reaction as host.
RUN! YOU STUPID FUCKING DINOSAUR! RUN!!
Looks like the kid wearing glasses is about to cry.
He knows that he is about to feel the wrath of Stick Stickly.
Holy Lord that was awful. But its not the worst Temple run, that’s the Owls every season since ’90.
I tried to explain what Nick Arcade was to my little nephew once. I then realized I had to explain what an Arcade was first.
Nick Arcade was definitely the hardest final round. Just flailing your arms around trying to touch invisible gems and ducking laser beams.
The pit of despair became something entirely different when that kid arrived at Syracuse.
+1
A retarded kid and a girl. Kinda plays out like you’d expect.
It must have taken so much restraint to not scream “WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU SITTING DOWN ON THE MOTHERFUCKING CHAIR THIS IS A TIMED CHALLENGE!”
Don’t anybody judge that kid until you’ve walked a mile in his bright orange sweatpants.
Yeah I was going to comment something relevant to this post (Legends was awesome). But then I watch this and my mind just went “puff”.
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Jesus Christ. If these were my kids I’d have put them up for adoption.