This is a clip from a new CMT reality show titled “Bayou Billionaires,” centered around a Southern family named the Dowdens who done struck it rich when some fancy gas company went and put some equipment on their property and the checks came a-rollin’ in. It’s pretty much “The Beverly Hillbillies” if the Clampetts had decided to stay at home and put in an above ground hot tub instead of move to California. Some highlights:

  • Accents that make Larry the Cable Guy sound like Morgan Freeman.
  • A horny 90-year-old grandfather who spends all day on the phone trying too woo women.
  • A girl named Chantel whose ENTIRE SEGMENT is about getting new teeth.
  • Chantel’s boyfriend, a burned-out biker who describes himself as follows: “Some people call me Carl, some people call me Albert, and, it really depends on what part of the country I’m in, some people call me Jimmy.” Hmm, seems legitimate to me!
  • A third-degree black belt named Gerald Jr. who looks like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite and says “The only thing I like more than winning is not losing.”

I’m a little torn on this show. On one hand, as a NortheasternCollegeEducatedLiberalElite looking down on the common folks from his ivory tower, this whole thing is horrifying to me. All of it. But on the other hand, if someone started mailing me checks for $100,000 for doing nothing, I’d probably go apesh-t with the money, too. (Step 1: Hire the entire East Coast Family play my birthday party every year.) And, hey, as someone who has to fill up a blog every day with posts about TV, this family could be a godsend. So I guess what I’m getting at is this: keep doin’ you, weird shady biker and creepshow old dude. I’ve got bills to pay.

Necessary image after the jump.

via Buzzfeed