From left to right: Matt, Warming Glow readers, Jon

A firm handshake to all the other guest editors who appeared over the past week, and apologies to the commenters whose terrible television viewing habits I steadfastly refused to validate. Your real dad returns tomorrow, hopefully with Lobster Dog in tow.

8:00, Fox – The All-Star Game. There are upwards of 80 All-Stars this year. In order to make sure each able player makes an appearance, the league has instituted an extra defensive position that requires standing directly on top of the plate at all times. This is a terrible idea!

9:00, ABC – Downfall. Watch this show with your friends. Every three minutes or so, grin, shake your head, and say things like, “Oh brother… what is America coming to?” and “Sure sign of the apocalypse…”. Your friends will laud you for your unique insight into such matters, and may even ask you what you think about Britney Spears.

10:30, Comedy Central (repeat) – South Park’s “Margaritaville” episode. It’s not the best episode in recent South Park history, but it’s close.

11:00, FX - Louie. Hopefully this episode is as good as the last one, which, of course, was the most beautiful, indispensable masterwork that we as a species have ever produced.

I’ve taken plenty of shots at Mad Men over the past few days, and I’d like to clarify: when you watch Mad Men, you aren’t watching a bad show. It’s just… well, here.

Because it is somewhat stylishly done,occasionally well-designed, and produced with overall aplomb, it is easy to ignore that Mad Men is a period-piece soap opera. Its better production values represent higher budgets and the benefits of a [weekly], rather than daily, schedule. It is cursed by the same ridiculous plots, unlikely characters, and preposterous acting as any of Grandma’s “stories.”

Seriously: take, for example, Pete Campbell’s attempt to blackmail Don Draper by revealing his Secret Past. This, and the fact that the primary character has a Secret Past of this sort to begin with, are unadulterated The Young and the Restless material.

Aesthetically, the show is hell of appealing, and most of the plots that actually revolve around the advertising business itself are genuinely interesting; the crime is that they aren’t the focus of the show. The star isn’t a particular concept or idea, but a character. He’s completely humorless and distant, which is fine if you’re Jack Bauer and you respond by axing terrorists in the chest, running a terrorist over with a bulldozer, running up a wall Bo Jackson-style and snapping a terrorist’s neck, etc., etc. Instead, Don Draper responds by staring at walls (always staring at walls, this guy) and maybe driving drunk or hanging out in dubious company. And even this would be okay if we had reason to care, but again, he’s humorless and distant, and we don’t. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve never been a huge fan of Adult Swim programming, but I can’t deny that Check It Out! With Dr. Steve Brule is amazing television. As interesting as it is to deconstruct great TV shows, it’s sometimes refreshing to see a show that stubbornly refuses to explain or even justify itself. It’s just there. And John C. Reilly, who plays Steve Brule, non-explains it perfectly.

ESQ: What about your miniseries on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim, Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule? Where’d you come up with the assertive, borderline mentally retarded character you play as the show’s host?

JCR: I just showed up with my costume and started channeling that guy. I don’t know where he came from. I find the less I say about Steve Brule the better. I think of him as real, and anytime I start to analyze him, it just gets really boring.

ESQ: And it’s entirely improvised?

JCR: Yeah. Are you getting the sense I don’t want to talk about Steve Brule?

ESQ: Yeah. Why is that?

JCR: Some things are just better left mysterious. I’m not really interested in picking it apart.

In my opinion, anyone who feels the need to deconstruct something like this isn’t quite up to the task of watching Steve Brule-centric programming. Why does he say “pruppets” instead of “puppets”? I don’t know, and more importantly, it doesn’t matter. If you’ve never had the privilege of watching this show, six minutes of it are after the jump. Try going a day without it. You’ll miss it, Charlie!

Marijuana is sort of like, I don’t know, yogurt, or The Montel Williams Show, in that it isn’t for me, but I’m all for everyone having the right to consume it. Williams, who has multiple sclerosis, says that marijuana helps to treat his condition:

I will [use marijuana] every day until the day I drop dead.

There is evidence backing up his claim, which he has espoused for years. In the world of celebrity gossip news, “self-medicate” (a cousin of “wardrobe malfunction”) tends to be delivered with a wink and a nudge to indicate, “hehhhh, this dude is gettin’ freakin’ high!” Yes, we are aware of the effects of marijuana and that people use it. Thanks, television! Anyway, regardless of the extent to which marijuana is helping him, it’s nice to see Montel in good shape. As a morally conscious, intelligent talk show host, he’s one of the best of a crummy genre. For further viewing, please see this clip in which Montel crumbles a “pray away the gay” suit into a bowl of chili and proceeds to eat it by the spoonful.

[Via Buzzfeed.]

Please enjoy the soothing sounds of music I liked when I was 18 years old that is not as crappy as it probably should be. (Still really crappy.)

Absolutely nothing happened in the Home Run Derby last night. Read all about it here! [SB Nation]

Did yall listen to pop rap rock in the 1990s? Is that the future of indie music? Thanks for still being the most maddening site I have ever read! [Hipster Runoff]

This isn’t in the playbook. But it should be. Unless you are younger than 5 (Danger Guerrero), Ken Griffey, Jr. was awesome during your lifetime. Last night, Nike ran an ad honoring his accomplishments. [YouTube]

Yes, another baseball link, because I’m one-dimensional: George Steinbrenner reportedly suffered a massive heart attack this morning. [CF News 13] UPDATE: Steinbrenner has passed away.