What me, emote?

Jim Belushi tragically survived a plane crash recently to get involved in one of the least believable pitches I’ve ever heard:

Jim Belushi has teamed with Diane English and Barry Levinson for a prospective TV drama that would cast Belushi as a defense attorney character based on the lawyer and TV commentator Mickey Sherman.
ICM is in the process of packaging the series and hasn’t brought it yet to studios and networks, but it would mark a switch for Belushi to drama after his long run in the ABC sitcom “According to Jim.” [...]
Sherman penned the memoir “How Can You Defend Those People?,” and the idea is for Belushi to play a likable lawyer who defends the guilty and the innocent with equal vigor. [Variety]

I just need to see hidden video footage of the pitch meeting for this.  “Settle in, gents.  I have a humdinger for you.  Picture . . . Jim Belushi . . . as a likable defense attorney. Ta da!”  And then the pitch maker was hired to the board of directors at Fox, which is what we do with these people.

Jim Belushi and Brooke Shields are both safe after a very minor plane crash at the Hearst Mansion in California last Friday, according to Access Hollywood.

The incident occurred just after 5 PM when a plane carrying the two actors, who were attending a private event at the popular historic monument, landed safely at the estate’s private landing strip.

San Luis Obispo Sheriff’s Department PIO Rob Bryn told Access the pilot did not set the plane’s parking brake and the Cessna 421B plane rolled into a parked rental car while Brooke and Jim were still on the plane.

“No one was ever in any danger,” Officer Bryn told Access.

That’s too bad. I mean, I’ve got nothing against Brooke Shields. She’s perfectly nice and good at whatever is she does these days, but I think she would’ve been acceptable collateral to lose Belushi — albeit seven years too late to prevent “According to Jim.”

Man, I miss summer.

According to Jim (ABC) — Series finale.  This show was on for eight years.  Eight.  Eight years.  Two presidential terms.  That’s not one, not two, but FIVE more seasons than “Arrested Development” got.  Why?  Because there’s no god, that’s why.

I’m a Celebrity… Knife Me in the Spleen! (NBC) — It wasn’t easy, but I managed to ignore the “Spencer and Heidi quit after one episode” story until now.  Why was it hard?  Because Spencer actually said this line on TV: “This cast is devaluing our fame!”

Inside the Obama White House: Brian Williams Reports (NBC) — OOOHHH!!! It’s like “The West Wing” but with a black guy!

Man Vs. Wild (Discovery) — It’s the one with Will Ferrell tonight (watch a clip here).  SPOILER ALERT: Bear Grylls and Ferrell both survive.

Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern (Travel) — Hmmmm, I wonder if Zimmern will eat male genitalia tonight?  Yahoo: “He tastes everything from juicy cheese worms to bull balls soup.”  Business as usual.

Women Behind Bars (ABC) — I don’t know whether this is about female inmates or bartenders, but I like it either way.

It seems that after eight seasons, ABC is finally getting around to euthanizing “According to Jim.”  The network is giving it a back-to-back primetime slot with the apparent intent to just bleed the episodes out as fast as possible.

The network has slotted back-to-back episodes of the Jim Belushi sitcom for Tuesday nights from 8 to 9 p.m. starting March 24, according to a listings grid posted on ABC’s media Web site…

ABC still has a dozen episodes of “Jim’s” already filmed eighth season on the shelf. The network has never officially announced its cancellation, but industry insiders believe the series has finally reached the end of the line.

Good.  Every sitcom that has a fat goofy guy married to a sexy wife needs to be cancelled yesterday.  I demand realism, Hollywood!  Give me more sitcoms starring pear-shaped moms with bad haircuts!  If I can’t land Leah Remini, you can bet your sweet ass that Kevin James can’t, either.