The seventh season of “Entourage” debuts later this month, and there’s a new trailer that’s even more laughably ridiculous than what I’ve come to expect. The so-called “drama” previewed in the clip below involves big-time Hollywood star Vincent Chase — wait for it — having to do his own stunt in an action movie! Oh no! Rally the entourage and rush to the set before he drives a car in a controlled environment under the guidance of experienced professionals!

I also got a good laugh from the shot that I pulled the banner image from. Yes, we are to believe that Adrian Grenier could be an action star. With these arms. And these chicken legs. Because frail hipsters who play the recorder are exactly the kind of people I expect to wield a tricked-out M4 with a shotgun as their second option. The only second option Adrian Grenier has in a dangerous situation is crapping his pants after he’s already wet them.

Read the rest of this entry »

Douche Cat is feelin' that keffiyeh scarf, son!

HBO has acquired the rights to “Teenage Paparazzo,” a documentary directed by “Entourage” “star”-slash-”musician” Adrian Grenier. (Haha, sarcasti-quotes are the best!)

The film is about the true story of a 14-year-old paparazzo’s relationship with Grenier. After meeting during a night on the town, Grenier put a camera onto the celebrity photographer to document his world.

An official selection at Sundance, the film features interviews with Matt Damon, Eva Longoria Parker, Paris Hilton, Alec Baldwin and Whoopi Goldberg, along with historians, critics, fans, bloggers, publishers and tabloid writers. [THR]

Not that The Hollywood Reporter deems it worthy to tell you, but the subject of the documentary is Austin Visschedyk, and you can save yourself the trouble of watching something made by Adrian Grenier and instead read the article about Visschedyk called “Il Piccolo Paparazzo” in the November 2009 edition of GQ. I remember it well because it was the one where January Jones looked like this. And this and this. Wait, what were we talking about again?

This one’s simple: these are the television clips and TV news stories that made us happiest about others’ misfortune over the past year.

10. Craig Ferguson: Why Everything Sucks. Ferguson used his “Late Late Show” cold open to brilliantly dismantle the 21st Century’s “deification of imbecility.” More of a “Preach on!” clip than something that causes shameful joy, but this overlooked clip represents all my hatred for America’s celebration useless fame whores.

9. Adrian Grenier Plays the Recorder. The “Entourage” lead is just as bad at music as he is at acting. Read the rest of this entry »

There is a o.o% chance that this video of Matt Damon chewing out “Entourage” star Adrian Grenier is real, but for the sake of my own happiness I’m going to pretend that it isn’t staged. I prefer to believe in a world where a cool dude like Matt Damon can’t tolerate untalented jackasses with hydrocephalus, and the presence of Jeremy Piven’s hairpiece only serve to enrage him more. Because that’s exactly how I would act if I was trying to direct a PSA with the cast of “Entourage.” Except my PSA would be about the benefits of bludgeoning lousy actors with a claw hammer.

[Buzzfeed]

This is a photo of “Entourage” star Adrian Grenier playing at a concert with his band, The Honey Brothers.  I knew he was in a band, but I didn’t realize that he was sophisticated enough to master the recorder, AKA “the clarinet for six-year-olds.”  The person who had the misfortune of attending this concert writes:

He is 100% sincere about wanting to build a music career. Yes, yes, that is a recorder. [...]

While setting up his subpar drum kit, he was all “I’m annoyed that we’re back to being a real band instead of a fantasy band, like they treated us on our Australia tour. We never had to carry our own stuff there.”

I hear a lot about how “Entourage” is compelling because it’s an accurate depiction of how Hollywood works.  So I’d like to suggest an “Entourage” story line in which a TV actor with questionable talent insists on being taken seriously in his musical side project.  Then he gets sodomized with a recorder.  I don’t know, maybe there needs to be some more exposition in there.  I’m just brainstorming.  But feel free to use that plot, “Entourage” writers.  Free of charge.