I’d forgotten all about that. I like her with a little bit of baby fat. She’s too thin now. [@XmasApe]

Chris Hansen’s Most Memorable TCAP Moments. Remember that time he caught the guy who wanted to have sex with the underage girl? [Uproxx]

Breaking news: all sports canceled forever. Five Songs For The NFL & NBA Lockouts. [SmokingSection]

Basset hound in sunglasses. Deal with it. [bunnyfood]

The Best Of #Party Down. It was a year ago yesterday that the Starz comedy got canceled. Sad trombone.[Uproxx]

The Dugout: Meet the UltraMets. They scored as many runs in four games as the Mariners do in the course of a month. [With Leather]

Frotcast 54: Actual movie talk, plus poop transplants and Lindy West’s unique ability to cause beefs with everyone from Thomas Lennon to Gawker commenters who blog on livejournal. [FilmDrunk]

Come for the face-melting guitars, stay for the puppet violence. Mastodon’s video for “Deathbound.” [AdultSwim]

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SITE NEWS: I gotta bounce early today to catch a flight. These other stories’ll have to get you through the remainder of the day.

Fe-lyin’ around, cat-chin’ some rays. Hey, it was either those puns or “look at these lazy pussies.” Anyway: the very best of cats chillin’. [Buzzfeed]

From Fox News to the Onion News Network. Suzanne Sena used the credibility gained as an anchor at Fox News to land a gig reading fake news. Video at the link. [Mediabistro]

Honest content warnings for HBO shows. The more ridiculous the show, the better the warnings. [College Humor]

Mother Nature’s Punch-Out. Animals fighting, boxing commentary, and the music to Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out. The pieces don’t exactly fit together perfectly, but I approve of the interspecies animal fighting. [Asylum]

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This little girl on “The Today Show” reacts just like I did the one time a girl asked me out in 1998. Coincidentally, that date reacted the same way when I dropped my pants, which I thought was more than a little cruel. I think having a diamondback pattern tattooed there is pretty clever.

[College Humor]

The hosts of “The Today Show” dressed up in Star Wars costumes for the typical “here’s how you can decorate for Halloween” segment, and they hired a couple people to be in Ewok costumes, which was a nice touch. An even nicer touch? This email from a friend of mine: “For what it’s worth, a friend who works at the Today Show confirms that they were both midgets and drunk.” *looks skyward* Thank you, God!

It takes a while for this video to get going, but the payoff provides all sorts of unexpected delights. Ewoks fighting, moonwalking, leg-humping… If George Lucas had made the Ewoks like this in Return of the Jedi, it totally would have justified their existence.

[Buzzfeed]

In a truly bizarre moment on Friday’s “Today Show,” a strange man crashed the set of Paula Deen’s segment with Al Roker. But it wasn’t the usual attention-grabbing “look at me” sort of stunt — he just dived behind an island in the kitchen and then laid face-down on the floor. And since no one recognized him and his intentions were unknown, you’d think it would be a good time to go to commercial and have security take care of the problem. But no, they just got the camera man to keep a lens on him and went on with cooking. Not what I would have chosen to do, but then I’m not a big-shot TV producer, am I?

Anyway, I don’t get a chance to talk about Paula Deen very often, so this seems like the right time to ask: she’s a dude in a wig and a fat suit, right? That’s just a sassy dude playing dress-up. I mean, imagine a biopic about her life, and picture which actor you would choose to play her. Robin Williams, right?

[Best Week Ever]