Caprica (Syfy) — Season 2 premiere (EDIT: It’s the continuation of Season 1. Whatever). I’m not a huge proponent of basic cable sci-fi prequels to of remakes, but damned if that Alessandra Torresani isn’t the sexiest little hipster. Watch a preview clip below.

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) — Someone gets voted off. My guess is someone chubby and Asian and unfunny.

Glee (Fox) — I don’t know about tonight’s episode, but the latest word is that the show will tackle the recent hot-button issue of gay suicide. It will be the first time “Glee” has addressed real-life problems since the fake pregnancy arc from last year. Watch out, fellas: don’t let your wife fake her pregnancy.

30 for 30 (ESPN) — “Four Days in October,” about the Boston Red Sox’s historic comeback in the 2004 ALCS. Ah, those were heady days — back when we felt something called “compassion” for Boston fans.

Running Wilde (Fox) — Dammit, I keep forgetting to DVR this show because I always think it’s on Wednesdays. Tonight’s the night I finally fix that. I’m sorry, Will Arnett and Mitch Hurwitz.

Sextuplets Take New York (TLC) — Season finale. Once — just once — I want a reality show about babies to have the balls of “Sons of Anarchy” (also on tonight, btw) and finish the season with a kidnapping. THAT’S GOOD TELEVISION!

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“Caprica” is Syfy’s “Battlestar Galactica” prequel that has a small but loyal following, and this is the trailer that debuted at Comic-Con for what’s being called “Season 1.5.” Why is it being called Season 1.5? you ask. I could probably find out, but I don’t really care. It’s the sort of things that regular TV-watchers would be put off by, but sci-fi geeks have no problem saying things like, “I’m really excited for Season One and a Half.” What can I say, nerds love fractions.

Anyway, the first minute or so of the trailer was astoundingly dull to me, but then we got a little more of Eric Stoltz — who’s always watchable — plus more action, Cylons, and hot-ass hipster pygmy Alessandra Torresani. I don’t like to make assumptions about people I’ve never met, but she seems like the kind of girl who can shoot a ping-pong ball out of her vagina. Perhaps that’s just wishful thinking. “You can saaaaay I’m a dreamer / But I’m not the only one…”

(Images 2-5 are high-res. To view them full-size, click the thumbnail, then right-click the image and select the appropriate viewing option.)

Because I’m one of the cool people who got over “Battlestar Galactica” in 2007, I haven’t given much thought to Syfy’s prequel, “Caprica.” But given the video below, in which series star Alessandra Torresani licks a metaphorically placed lollipop, my feelings are leaning towards maybe giving the show a chance. My feelings are also leaning against my underwear at the moment.

Anyway, this reminds me of a burlesque show I went to once. Most of the performances were more cute than sexy — lots of tassels, with the occasional act that went topless at the end of a song. Then the final chick came on stage, and she broke out two of the long-ass lollipops like these, and BOOM! Fully nude vaginal insertion with candy. Talk about an awkward first date. In retrospect, I guess I shouldn’t have told the girl that she “should be more like her.”

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