Okay, okay: I GET IT. There’s a new season of “True Blood” starting soon. I don’t need the “ultimate fan trailer” (above), and I don’t need the special werewolf-heavy trailer set to Lady Gaga’s “Teeth” (below). Just LAY OFF, HBO. I’m gonna watch your stupid gore-porn with Anna Paquin’s awful accent anyway, so I don’t need to be bombarded with various new teases of what’s to come.

Anyway, the bottom trailer shows Eric doing that super-fast moving that vampires in “True Blood” can do. And I wonder: why do vampires on the show only do that to close the distance on someone? If I were a vampire, super-speed would be my go-to move in the bedroom. It would be way better than my current go-to move, which is apologizing and agreeing to leave.

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The third season of HBO’s gory and tit-filled vampire drama “True Blood” begins in June, and the show has launched a massive multi-front promotional campaign to increase the hype surrounding it and get losers like me to write about it. Here’s a rundown of what’s going on:

• New season 3 poster above. Awww yeah, snakes and tits and skulls and big biceps on pale people.
• New promo poster released every week for the 12 weeks up to the show. You can see the first five here. The Missing one is my least favorite. I just don’t like to think of vampires as the kind of death-dealing immortals that give a crap if one of their kind goes missing.
• New “minisode” airing on HBO every week for the six weeks leading up to the season premiere. (watch below)
• The “True Blood” comic book, arriving July 21st, released the cover art for issue #1.
• For twenty dollars, Anna Paquin will show up to your house and take her shirt off. That’s not really part of HBO’s promotional campaign, Anna just understands what she’s good at.

I think that’s about it. Below, I’ve got several photo stills from the new season, as well as the first minisode, which features Eric and Pam as they screen new dancers. It’s kind of preposterous, but the entire show is kind of preposterous, so I guess it works. And, as the screen cap thumbnailed here proves, it ends with a cliffhanger that definitely makes me interested to see more, so I guess it’s effective advertising. As Don Draper might say, “Titties sell.”

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In news that may possibly SHATTER THE EARTH, two actors who worked closely together on the set of a television show have begun dating. In this case, the rumored couple is “True Blood” vampires Alexander Skarsgard (Meekus!) and Evan Rachel Wood. From Lainey Gossip (via Socialite Life):

Evan Rachel Wood and Alexander Skarsgard are dating. Am told exclusively by an infallible source that it’s been several weeks now. And that she flew to Shreveport, Louisiana on Friday to visit him. Skarsgard is there working on Straw Dogs with Kate Bosworth…

[T]hey met, of course, on the set of True Blood, and were able to keep it low key, very underground while they were in LA, never venturing out to pap friendly locations, only sighted a few times discreetly, and so far the relationship is progressing well, they’re having fun together.

I don’t think this should come as a surprise, as Evan Rachel Wood is a sexy-ass redhead who’s been rumored to hump just about everyone she acts with. If you look at all the rumors about her over the years, she comes off as kind of a gigantic slut. But I don’t mean that in a bad way. Why do people always use “slut” as a pejorative? “Ooh, I hate sexually liberated women who put out!” Damn our Puritanical heritage, always making virtue a virtue.

Alexander Skarsgard is starting to generate buzz for being next in line for big-time Hollywood stardom, and it’s well-deserved for his back-to-back roles as two of the biggest badasses on cable TV in recent history: Sergeant Brad “Iceman” Colbert in the excellent “Generation Kill” and Eric Northman, the millennium-old viking vampire in “True Blood.” While Iceman and Eric are very different characters, Skarsgard brings a quiet authority to each, walking a menacing line between cool and deadly.

His biggest American role before that? Eight years ago, as Meekus in Zoolander, part of the trio of Ben Stiller’s dim-witted model friends who die in a freak gasoline fight accident. That kind of blows my mind. Apparently he spent the years in between focusing on a career in his native Sweden. It’s like, “Uh, Earth to Brint, you can be a star in other countries besides America.”

(thanks to bohemea and shortskirtlongjacket)

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