
What with all the January Jones sexiness lately, it’s been a while since we’ve checked in with my other imaginary “Mad Men” girlfriend Christina Hendricks. What you see here is a scene from last night’s episode, in which Joan takes a vase to her rapey jackass husband’s head after he tells her that she doesn’t know what it’s like to have unfulfilled dreams. And considering that he’s the guy who isn’t fulfilling her dreams, this was delightfully warranted. The best part: he later apologizes with flowers and the promise that he’ll “get a new vase for these.” Score one for domestic violence!
(Other than that, though, last night’s episode was BRUTAL. I mean, it was really good, but it broke my heart at least three different times. I’m already sad about the season ending after two more episodes.)
What with all the sex I have with women, I often miss out on sci-fi news. But the geeks have been talking about AMC’s miniseries “The Prisoner” for some time now. Starring Jim Caviezel and Ian McKellen, it will air over three nights starting November 15th. The synopsis, via Quiet Earth:
A man, known as Six [Caviezel], finds himself inexplicably trapped in The Village with no memory of how he arrived. As he explores his environment, he discovers that his fellow inhabitants are identified by number instead of name, have no memory of any prior existence, and are under constant surveillance. Not knowing whom to trust, Six is driven by the need to discover the truth behind The Village, the reason for his being there, and most importantly — how he can escape.
McKellen plays a character named Number Two, so I’d like to state for the record: hee hee, “number two.” It’s so much funnier when it’s a serious name and not a Mike Myers joke.
This isn’t exactly new, but it’s a nice follow-up to the January Jones GQ cover story/photo shoot and the ensuing “Are her boobs Photoshopped?” debate. It is, quite simply, a video of television’s Betty Draper wearing lingerie and being photographed, set to a sexy little electropop number. It’s a great way to make you want to make out with your computer screen.
(Side note: The other video that I was considering posting in this time slot was a Japanese TV clip of girls in bikinis trying to melt phallic pieces of ice as quickly as possible. In short, they simulate most of the sex acts I know, plus a couple I hadn’t considered before. Who won the contest? I’m not sure; I didn’t get all the way through it. So I guess that means I won, really.)
I loathe writing recaps of shows, but sometimes an episode deserves your attention whether you watch the show or not. That’s why I occasionally bring you Just the Badass Parts. Today: “Mad Men” episode 308, where “badass” means “sexy as hell.” The highlights, in no particular order:
Naturally, after all the sexiness and good times, the episode ended on a sharply bitter note, because any happiness the characters can attain is fleeting, and everyone is ultimately miserable. Hooray! Just like us!

Hell yes. I’ve been waiting for this animated .gif file to materialize online since the moment I watched the most memorable scene from Sunday night’s “Mad Men.”
If you happened to miss the episode, (a) shame on you, and (b) you may want to stop reading now, as I’m about to discuss details. Or rather: detail, singular. That detail being HOLY CRAP THAT BRITISH DUDE GOT HIS FOOT SHREDDED BY A LAWNMOWER. Just when it looked like the show was about to take a compelling new turn with another personnel shake-up at Sterling Cooper, Matthew Weiner hit the brakes and did a skidding 180 by spewing blood and bone matter on employees’ faces. It was shocking, gruesome, and positively hilarious.
Note to every show on TV: sudden, violent amputation is always a nice plot twist. I really hope Pete Campbell lands a wood chipper account.
[image via GIF PARTY]
The good people at Landline TV made this spoof that captures the essence of why I like “Mad Men” — namely, a pleasing visual aesthetic, casual racism and sexism, and rampant drinking and smoking in the workplace. Oh sure, there are intellect-y things like “complex characterization” and “smart writing,” but you had me at gray flannel suits and subservient secretaries.
I’d also like to use this opportunity to briefly discuss Sunday night’s episode, so if you’re one of those buzzkills who doesn’t watch your shows on time then bitches when you find out plot details, be warned: THAR BE SPOILERS AHEAD, MATEY.