"These violent delights have violent ends." Act II, Scene VI

Ben Silverman, the former co-chairman of NBC, will produce a telenovela-like take on Romeo and Juliet for MTV called “Pedro & Maria” that will establish new depths to the hell of cross-promotional marketing. Warning: corporate buzzwords ahead…

Going back to Silverman’s roots packaging reality projects with advertisers, the series has been pre-sold to Procter & Gamble, which is not only a sponsor but is signed on as a co-producer with MTV and Electus [Studios]. The advertiser will also “lend creative support” to the series with ad integrations.

“World class marketers, content creators and top producers are beginning to recognize that their individual success relies heavily on their ability to join forces to create content platforms that are both engaging and entertaining, while over delivering a compelling message for their audience,” said Silverman, CEO of Electus. “[Exec producer] America Ferrera, MTV and P&G are leading this charge alongside us with a groundbreaking new interactive platform that allows us to tap into this growing and important demographic.” [THR]

Ugh… I feel so dirty after reading that. For those who aren’t fluent in Synergy, that quote basically translates to “We’re gonna find new ways to sell useless sh*t to idiots.”

These are the first pictures from “Ugly Betty” of America Ferrera without her braces (via TV Addict). And whaddaya know, it turns out Ugly Betty is only Hollywood ugly. I’m sorry, I know I’ve talked about this before, but I’m never going to get over the wrong-ness of taking an attractive young Latina woman, then not brushing her hair and giving her braces, glasses, and godawful clothes. “Because you see, little girls, that’s what it takes to survive in the fashion industry!” It’s f*cking stupid. She had braces for three and half years! Your orthodontist is swindling you, you goddam retard.

And yeah, I understand the point: Her individualism is what makes her pretty, and she succeeds in a cutthroat industry because she’s true to herself, blah blah blah. It’s complete fantasy. That would be like a show about a fat, out of shape slob in the Marine Corps who wears sweatpants and a stained white t-shirt instead of a uniform, but he gets promoted because he’s such a good person. No. Life doesn’t work that way.

“Ugly Betty” is crap and I hate it and I’m glad it got canceled. I guess there isn’t a joke there, but I don’t see anything funny about celebrating ugly people.

Good news, everyone! The present season of “Ugly Betty” will be its last. This news comes from breathless retard Michael Ausiello, who constantly provides breaking news and SPOILER ALERTS about this crappy show that no one watches.

ABC has just informed Ugly Betty producers that the show’s current fourth season will be its last.  What’s more, the network has trimmed Betty’s episode order from 22 to 20.

Although not a complete shock given the show’s heinous ratings, the news is nonetheless a total bummer [not really -Ed.] — particularly in light of Betty’s creative resurgence this season.

The good news is that ABC has given Betty’s bosses enough time to craft a satisfying series finale [everyone dies?].

Just so we’re all on the same page here: “Ugly Betty” is about an unattractive girl with terrible fashion sense who works for a fashion magazine. Sorry, but if I wanted to see an unrealistic portrayal of a dying industry, I’d draw pictures of heterosexual steel workers.

My biggest gripe about “Ugly Betty” — other than the completely false premise that someone with horrible fashion taste would succeed in the cutthroat world of fashion magazines — is that the America Ferrara’s character has been wearing gigantic steel braces for three years even though no adult wears braces like that, or for that long (see here).  And now dentists in the UK have totally got my back.

According to dentists train track braces are very seldom prescribed to adults and even then are not worn for more than two years.  British orthodontists said they were worried the programme could discourage young viewers from seeking corrective dental treatment.

Those crazy Brits, always looking for excuse to have terrible teeth.

Tracey Posner, of the British Orthodontic society, said: “It is irresponsible of the programme makers to portray Betty as ‘ugly’ because she wears prominent braces. Ugly Betty is in its third year on our TV screens and Betty remains in over-exaggerated, heavy ‘train-track’ braces.  This is not a true reflection of orthodontic practice. It is highly unlikely an adult would wear braces beyond two years.”

There you have it.  Vindication.  Finally, some professional experts have backed me up on this exposé.  We’ve revealed that something on TV is not 100% the way it is in the real world. My work here is done.