In case you didn’t see Adam Lambert’s performance at the AMAs, congratulations, you have better things to do than watch the AMAs. But the “American Idol” runner-up created controversy by kissing a guy and simulating oral sex (the gay kind! Gross!) during his performance of his new single. I was going to write the name of the song but I can’t remember what it’s called, because I’ve never heard it and I don’t really care. Something about “entertainment,” I think.

Anyway, ABC got some heat from viewers, at least 1500 of whom wrote in to say that they hate fags, so the Disney-owned network canceled his appearance on “Good Morning America” set for tomorrow. But there’s good news for people who need to see their favorite “American Idol” contestants on morning television, because CBS’s “Early Show” swooped in and booked him as soon as “GMA” bumped him.

Obviously, I don’t give a crap about any of this. My whole purpose for writing about this was to post an animated .GIF of the male-on-male simulated fellatio, but the image seems to have stopped working. And that’s really too bad, because it was a seamless .GIF image — an unending loop of head-bobbing gay blowjob. Just the way your dad likes it.

Here’s video of Jennifer Lopez falling on her butt during a performance of her new song  “Louboutins” during the American Musical Awards last night, a charming little fail that was actually edited out of the telecast for West Coast viewers. In a related story, the AMAs are televised? In another related story, Jennifer Lopez is still alive? And still recording songs? Songs about shoes?

I’ve given this some thought, and this might actually be the single least important thing I’ve ever written about in my entire life.