Embedded below is a video with the promos that Melissa McCarthy recorded with Andy Samberg for her “Saturday Night Live” hosting gig this weekend. Ordinarily I don’t post these because the 30-second commercial on the NBC video embed is absolute murder to my patience, but in this case I think it was worth it. I expect McCarthy to be the kind of host that goes all out to elevate underwhelming sketches. She’s a great comic actress, and I’m not just saying that because she’s fat.

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Justin Timberlake will host this weekend’s season finale of “Saturday Night Live” with musical guest Lady Gaga, an episode that I’m genuinely looking forward to. And since I only get to say that once or twice a year about “SNL” (the other occasions being when Jon Hamm or Alec Baldwin host), I’ve embedded the Timberlake/Andy Samberg promos below. Even when Timberlake is mired in a totally moronic premise, he still goes all in and gets the maximum comedic value from a bit. That stupid handsome talented son of a bitch. I hate him.

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Zach Galifianakis will host this weekend’s episode of “Saturday Night Live,” and in a stirring departure from established protocol, NBC’s promos for the show are actually kind of funny (video below). Of course, that depends on whether you like Zach’s ability to twist an awkward situation for laughs, but it worked for me, and let’s face it: that’s what really matters.

As a side note, the musical guest is someone or something called Jessie J. I have no idea who or what that is because I’m old and ignorant of the things that young people like. But I’m willing to bet that I’ll hate Jessie J’s music. Why, in my day, musicians had last names! Like Glenn Miller, now that was an entertainer who could keep me up past 10 p.m.!

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Jesse Eisenberg hosted “Saturday Night Live” this weekend, and the big moment came in the first few minutes when Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg appeared on stage with the actor who portrayed him in The Social Network — as well as another impostor, Andy Samberg. I’m on the record as being against the “SNL” habit of real people confronting their imitators, but in this case I laughed in spite of myself (and despite Zuckerberg’s nervous overacting). What can I say, it was the best Bergfest since the Titanic sank.

If there was a downside to Zuckerberg’s appearance, it’s that it overshadowed one of the better monologues in recent memory (I liked Eisenberg joking about his confidence) and the asstastic luminosity of Nicki Minaj, who appeared in a digital short and a sketch in addition to her two musical performances. God, I love her. She’s like Lady Gaga, except way hotter and cooler and able to rap. (So… a black Lady Gaga.)

Highlights of the episode below.

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Obviously, today’s water cooler conversation is about last night’s Golden Globes, not this weekend’s “Saturday Night Live” hosted by Gwyneth Paltrow. But I have my habits, so I thought I’d post the relevant sketches from Saturday night. Besides, it’s a holiday. I owe it to the memory of Dr. King to not work very hard today. Wait, that came out wrong.

Anyway, even though Paltrow is a an annoying child of privilege, I still think she’s a talented actress who’s been in some films that I’ve enjoyed. That said, she ain’t funny. Her talent is best used by putting on a lot of eye makeup and making sad faces. The only time she makes me laugh is when her severed head ends up in a box. Watch the way she ruins this sketch:

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