Law & Order: SVU (NBC) — Remember the news about Ann-Margret and Jaclyn Smith guest-starring? That’s this episode. Also making an appearance tonight: Morgan Fairchild. What, did no one think to call Farrah Fawcett? What’s that? Oh. Never mind then.

The Ultimate Fighter (Spike) — Season 11 premiere. Chuck Liddell and Tito Ortiz are the two coaches, reviving the hottest UFC rivalry of five years ago. (Here’s Chuck and a porn star. Here’s Tito and a porn star.)

South Park (Comedy Central) — Tonight’s episode addresses medical marijuana. Watch a preview clip here.

In Plain Sight (USA) — Season premiere. Another USA series I’ll never see.

The Real World (MTV) — Season finale. Man, that season took forever. I feel like I’ve been ignoring it for the last year.

Human Target (Fox) — Moon Bloodgood — of Terminator: Salvation and hippie parents — guest stars.

It’s the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown (ABC) — This is in the 8 o’clock slot of ABC’s Wednesday comedy lineup. I will never forgive ABC for not giving “Better Off Ted” a fair shot.

America’s Next Top Model (CW) — Considering that this is followed by moronic reality turds “Fly Girls” and “High Society,” the CW really deserves more scorn for being an evil hybrid of Bravo and VH1 that targets gays and teenage girls.

Via TV Guide comes the thrilling and EXCLUSIVE news that Ann-Margret and Jaclyn Smith will guest star in an upcoming episode of “Law & Order: SVU.”

Executive producer Neal Baer tells TVGuide.com that [Ann-Margret] will play “a star of commercials that were made in the ’70s” and will be joined in the episode by Jaclyn Smith, who Baer says will play “a retired cop who works with Benson and Stabler to solve an old crime.

Baer calls it “Charlie’s Angels thirty years later.”

Now, I wouldn’t dare speak ill of Ann-Margret. If I had a time machine, the first stop would be 1962 and a 20-year-old Ann-Margret (on my way to kill Hitler, of course). But honestly, the only words I want to see “thirty years later” appended to are “scotch” and “Shiloh Jolie-Pitt.”