On last night’s “Tosh.0,” Daniel Tosh revealed that Apple gave him a new iPad to try out before the product goes on sale. And then he promptly cut to video of him laying waste to it with a golf club. The video below shows the damage nicely, but it leaves out Tosh’s unbridled joy at destroying something that any number of tech geeks would sell their souls to try before the launch date:

“We never even turned it on! [laughs] Ohhhh… how does that feel, nerds?”

I’m not quite sure why I enjoyed that so much. I think part of it has to do with Apple loyalists’ condescension to anything that isn’t a Mac, but what I really enjoy is Tosh’s unabashed meanness. I’d pay good money to watch him push people down the stairs. Or I could push people down the stairs, and he could laugh at them. The point is, more people should be getting pushed down the stairs.

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The big news that took over the Internet yesterday was the introduction of Apple’s iPad, and while many were skeptical of what the giant iPhone had to offer, everyone could agree on this: iPad is a terrible name. Not only is it too similar to the company’s ubiquitous iPod, but there’s the little issue of the term pad meaning pad for absorbing a woman’s period blood. Lily pad? Fine. Mouse pad? Cool. iPad? Period blood.

Anyway, in an awesome turn of events, “Mad TV” made a sketch about just such an iPad four years ago. It’s not hilarious — what on “Mad TV” ever was? — but it’s clever and short (hint hint, SNL), which is good enough for me. So, I think I can say it: “Mad TV” FTW! And yes: I’m pretty sure that’s the first retroactive “For the Win!” ever applied to a long-canceled show in TV blogging history. And it’s definitely “Mad TV’s” first-ever FTW. Thanks for Frank Caliendo, A-holes.

[Portfolio]

WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT!!?!?!?

Tech geeks are furiously masturbating about today’s unveiling of the new Apple Tablet (or iSlate, or iPad, or whatever Steve Jobs has decided to call it), and it won’t be long until the new product finds its way onto television. Not only will Apple give us slick commercials set to infectious indie music, but we’ll also see the iPad on “24″ by the end of the season. These are tweets from Rodney Charters, the Director of Photography on “24″:

“Hmmmm looks like we may get an iSlate into Jacks hands for Ep 20 getting giddy with excitement”
“Got a bit too excited probably more likely Episode 22 but Apple provided fingers crossed”

I used to have a job where I had to watch TV and record all the product placements that happened (and then write survey questions about them). There were all sorts of data to record, like if a primary or second character touched the product, how long the product was on-screen, and whether or not the product was used “as intended.” For example, if someone drinks from a can of Coke, that’s its intended use. If they throw the can of Coke at someone’s head, that’s not the intended use. Long story short, I want to see Jack Bauer beat someone to death with an Apple iPad.

[via TastySlate]

A senior analyst at Piper Jaffray predicts that the company will enter the television market by the year 2011 with “an Apple-branded television set with digital video recording and home media functions (music, movies, games, interactive TV) built-in.”  It will also, no doubt, make owners feel superior to people who don’t feel like paying so much for a TV.

The timeline for product release, according to Gene Munster:

1. A new Apple TV set-top box within the next few months, with a TV imput and DVR built in. “With the popularity of ad-based internet TV (Hulu.com) and subscription models (Netflix’s Watch Instantly), we believe a-la-carte (iTunes) video purchases have lost share against other video models in recent months. As such, we believe Apple is exploring a subscription-based offering for its TV content in iTunes.”
2. An iTunes TV Pass within the next year. “Apple could leverage its deep library of content with many network and cable channel content owners to provide unlimited access to a sub-library of its TV shows for a standard monthly fee ($30 to $40 per month). Such a product would effectively replace a consumer’s monthly cable bill (~$85/month) and offer access to current and older episodes of select shows on select channels.”
3. An Apple television set within the next two years that could wirelessly sync with iPods, iPhones and Macs. “Such a device would command a premium among a competitive field of budget TVs; we believe Apple could differentiate itself with software that makes home entertainment simple and solves a pain point for consumers (complicated TV and component systems).”

You know, I enjoy Apple products, but I’m hesitant to be enthusiastic about this because it’s just one more thing for Mac snobs to be pretentious about.  Yeah, that’s great that you love your computer so much, can you at least try not to look down on me for not having an extra $600 to spend on a laptop?  Thanks, now take that sleek white design and jam it into your iHole.