A few hours ago I posted that video where CBS’s Chicago affiliate edited an interview with a black four-year-old to make him look like a criminal. It was a dark time for TV news. But then a hero came along…

Some Australian television producing genius, and I am not being sarcastic AT ALL here, dispatched a reporter named Amy Parks to cover an event taking place at… wait for it… AMII PARK.

Amy Parks… in… Amii Park.

(*deep breath*)

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

(*another breath*)

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

I don’t know if they give out monthly awards for the worldwide television journalism, but America is getting its ass kicked one day into August.

via The Daily What

Australian “TODAY” host Karl Stefanovic is a genius of awkward television. You may remember his masturbational Wii curling during the Vancouver Olympics; more recently, he made headlines by telling the Dalai Lama a well-worn joke that didn’t register with the religious leader.

But the video below may take the cake: last week, shark expert Paul Burt gave an on-site report about a shark rumored to be terrorizing a popular tourist lake. While Stefanovic does his best to make the report awkward, things don’t really get going until the two-minute mark, when Burt casts a fishing line — ostensibly to catch the shark — and instead hooks a duck. Wide-eyed reaction shots follow, Burt frees the duck, and Stefanovic dismisses the whole incident with, “The whole thing was bull shark” — followed by a triumphant fist-pump at the pun (pictured). Nailed it, dude.

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What could possibl-eye go wrong? This Australian TV clip of a woman hand-feeding a great white shark creeps me the F out. [The Daily What]

CUPCAKE ORGY! A gallery of elaborate cupcakes to stimulate our chubby readers. [Uproxx]

Trailer: Yep, it’s a ‘Facts of Life’ porn parody. Props to Vince for landing his first porn-related exclusive. The first of many, I can only assume. [FilmDrunk]

It never gets old: dogs playing poker. [pandapuzzle]

These women throw like girls. Avril Lavigne and other female celebrities throwing out opening pitches. Victoria Beckham’s is particularly shameful. [With Leather]

20 of the Greatest Flash Mobs Ever Conducted. Oh, I didn’t realize that 20 different flash mobs had fallen off a cliff. [Uproxx]

The KSK Sex/Fantasy Football Mailbag. Dating unemployed people sucks, according to me. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

George Lucas Strikes Back. Entirely believable fake trailer: George Lucas was kidnapped twenty years ago and replaces with an impostor bent on destroying our childhood memories. [Gamma Squad]

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It was just last week that a YouTube video of a bullied Australian kid fighting back against his tormentor went viral and the world found its latest inspirational figure. Now young, portly Casey Heynes has come to represent every put-upon and downtrodden person who ever summoned the courage to powerbomb someone smaller than them.

After the jump are two separate news segments about the video. Each is longer than seven minutes. Jeebus. If Casey had thrown down a Japanese nuclear reactor, he might not have gotten as much coverage. The first clip gives a soft focus overview of Casey’s experience with bullying. I enjoy the fact that no one expresses any concern about his use of violence until about seven and a half minutes into the clip.

The second video deals with the bully, Richard Gale, claiming he is the actual victim in this whole ordeal and that Casey bullied him first. Pfft. YouTube clips or it didn’t happen, Richie.

[Prolongs the cycle of suffering]

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Australian realtors Ian Adams and Adrian Jenkins have some sweet-ass luxury property, and they know how to sell it: with sex. The commercial below features two things that are on my Christmas list every year: a woman in lingerie tied to a chair, and a pair of blondes in their underwear who are always on the verge of making out. And also a helicopter and a SWAT team for some reason? Maybe because the brunette is tied up? I’m not sure, the plot is a little shaky in places.

I hope that Adams and Jenkins sell houses this way 100% of the time. “Now if you’ll just step into the bedroom here, you’ll see that it’s perfect for watching lesbians make out. And any women you tie up will have a beautiful view of the ocean thanks to these beautiful bay windows. Can we show you the sex dungeon?”

(Screencaps below the video.)

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