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President Obama originally intended to address a joint session of Congress about jobs or the economy or something tonight, but John Boehner was all, “Wednesday’s no good, I’m in the tanning booth from 6 to 11.” So Obama bumped it back a day — the same night as the NFL opener between the Saints and Packers.

But don’t worry, it’s all good. Obama’s speech will be over before kickoff, and his address bumps the atrocious pregame program off of NBC.

NFL Kickoff 2011 was originally scheduled to air on NBC but is now being preempted due to President Obama’s speech, scheduled to begin at 7 p.m. ET. NBC will join NFL Kickoff 2011 in progress once its coverage of the speech has concluded and VERSUS, USA, Syfy and G4 will resume their regularly-scheduled programming shortly thereafter. NFL Network will carry NFL Kickoff 2011 in its entirety.

NFL Kickoff 2011 will feature musical performances by award-winning artists Kid Rock, Lady Antebellum and Maroon 5 from a stage adjacent to Lambeau Field… The 90-minute pregame celebration will also feature Football Night in America and Sunday Night Football commentators Bob Costas, Al Michaels, Cris Collinsworth, Dan Patrick, Tony Dungy, Rodney Harrison, Peter King and Mike Florio live from Green Bay as they examine the impending 2011 NFL season. [press release via TV by the numbers]

Oh boy, Kid Rock AND Maroon 5? I just strained my wrist dismissively wanking. There aren’t too many things I dislike more than hearing a politician talk about the depressing state of our nation, but Tony Dungy’s assh*le face is one of them.

Hey y’all, there’s been some long reads and good TV news that I haven’t been able to get to over the last couple days, so give these links your time and attention. Above, the president meets Cool Dog and Picnic Bear, via Tumblr king the frogman, who also did this great GIF wall of the Brady Bunch to honor Sherwood Schwartz.

Amy Poehler on Nick Offerman’s Emmy snub: “It’s a hot load of bullsh*t that he didn’t get a nomination, and you can quote me on that.” [HitFix]

“I don’t like comedy. I like funny things. I don’t like comedy.” Great interview with Louis C.K. [A.V. Club]

The Character Actor Arms Race: Five Reasons Cable TV Won. The always-great Bethlehem Shoals makes me want to watch “Damages.” [GQ]

Ricky Gervais on the ten-year anniversary of “The Office” and turning 50. Way too much of this hits home with me, which probably means I’m old. Bummer. [HuffPo]

Oral history of “Friday Night Lights.” I still haven’t made it all the way through this yet, but it’s a long read that’s been great so far. [Grantland]

Corgi hops up stairs like a bunny. Something to tide you over until Corgi Friday arrives. [ohhaveyouseenthis]

Twitter reacts to the Alison Brie/Gillian Jacobs GQ shoot. It includes yesterday’s awesome comment from Tacos Gigante: “I would like to go back in time, join the U.S. Army Air Corps, and paint Alison Brie on the side of my B-17.” [Uproxx, GIF via echofades]

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Even though President Obama’s speech announcing the death of Osama Bin Laden was hastily scheduled at a late hour on Sunday night, it nevertheless drew 56.5 million viewers — not as much as a Super Bowl, but considerably more than an “American Idol” finale.

That’s more than Obama’s recent scheduled and promoted primetime addresses, such as March 28′s speech on Libya (25.6 million) and his August speech on Iraq (29.2 million), as well as more than doubling the audience of the supremely hyped, though early a.m., Royal Wedding (22.8 million). [EW]

YEAH! Suck it, William and Kate! Maybe the royal wedding would have gotten some more viewers if they’d taken a black ops detour to kill the most wanted criminal in the world. Ah, crap. I just pictured Kate Middleton in her wedding gown holding an MP-5. That’s good for an all-day boner right there.

Anyway, if you missed the speech, I’ve got it embedded below. And I’m happy to report that Bin Laden is still dead. Yay!

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Conan (TBS) — Will Ferrell is scheduled to shave Conan’s beard. Bummer, I’m gonna miss the young Kris Kringle look.

Osama Bin Laden: The E! True Hollywood Story (E!) — No, not really. But I’m sure a lot of people will only turn on the TV tonight to learn more about the top-secret SEAL attack that led to Bin Laden’s death in Abbottabad, Pakistan. Myself, I’ll probably tune in to “The Daily Show” and Colbert tonight. (GIF via)

Kate Plus 8 (TLC) — Kate takes the kids to Philly, where I sincerely hope Eagles fans pelt her with batteries.

Bethenny Ever After (Bravo) — Tonight’s episode focuses on the filming of the final episode of “Skating with the Stars.” “Yo dawg, I heard you liked reality shows, so I made this reality show about a reality show so you can watch the reality about reality.”

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Paul Walker on Leno; Rene Russo on Kimmel; Mindy Kaling on Ferguson; LL Cool J and Judd Apatow on Fallon; and Tracy Morgan and World’s Greatest Coach Rex Ryan on Letterman: HOW YOU BOYS DOIN’? Full listings at TV Squad.

Before we went and killed Osama bin Laden, I was all prepped to write up remarks about the speeches made by Barack Obama and Seth Meyers at the White Correspondents’ Dinner — AKA The Oscars for C-SPAN — this weekend (video of Obama above, Meyers below). Obama came out to a video of “I Am a Real American” and took about twice as much time as Meyers did, marking the first time in the history of everything that something felt longer than a Seth Meyers monologue. (Edit/Correction: Updated with the full video of Meyers. Meyers, like Obama, spoke for 20 minutes, which is too bad because I really liked that joke.)

P.S. I’m not sure I’m supposed to say this, but Michelle Obama is a total FLILF.

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