I'm still not convinced he was on "Dexter" BECAUSE HE WASN'T

Two NUGGETS of good news for “Battlestar Galactica” fans, who haven’t had any since March 6, 2009, the week before part one of the show’s worst-than-the-final-episode-of-“Lost” finale aired:

-“Portlandia” is planning an episode-long tribute to Ronald D. Moore’s reboot, and now there’s a poster and a clip. It’s pretty funny – Fred and Carrie go on a “BSG” binge and end up losing their jobs because of it – but they got something wrong: THEY LIKED THE FINALE. And as previously stated, the finale is fracking awful. (After watching the episode(s), “Game of Thrones” author George R.R. Martin wrote on his blog, “Looks like somebody skipped Writing 101, when you learn that a deus ex machina is a crappy way to end a story.”)

-The pilot for Moore’s failed fantasy cop drama, “17th Precinct,” has leaked online. It features much of the same cast as “BSG,” including Tricia “Dog Cop Show” Helfer, but unlike the amazing pilot of “BSG,” it’s not very good. The first line of dialogue: “Oil, electricity, coal: the power that drives modern society. But what if science had never been invented? What if we relied on magic?” That’s goofy even by NBC standards. Why is this good news for “BSG” fans? Because it’ll make them appreciate every post-finale episode that much more.

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Apparently today is Nerd Christmas, because this photo is getting passed around the Geekosphere with remarkable alacrity. It’s Dirk Benedict and Katee Sackhoff having a cup of coffee in a cafe together. Or, in “Battlestar Galactica” fanboy parlance: Starbuck and Starbuck drinking Starbucks in Starbucks. You’ll notice that Benedict is drinking the original hot coffee, while Sackhoff opted for the newer, sexier iced coffee. I like to think that their entire conversation was “Malkovich? Malkovich. MALKOVICH!”

Relevant:

[Topless Robot / BuzzFeed / imgur]

Because I’m one of the cool people who got over “Battlestar Galactica” in 2007, I haven’t given much thought to Syfy’s prequel, “Caprica.” But given the video below, in which series star Alessandra Torresani licks a metaphorically placed lollipop, my feelings are leaning towards maybe giving the show a chance. My feelings are also leaning against my underwear at the moment.

Anyway, this reminds me of a burlesque show I went to once. Most of the performances were more cute than sexy — lots of tassels, with the occasional act that went topless at the end of a song. Then the final chick came on stage, and she broke out two of the long-ass lollipops like these, and BOOM! Fully nude vaginal insertion with candy. Talk about an awkward first date. In retrospect, I guess I shouldn’t have told the girl that she “should be more like her.”

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Close the door and buckle your sweatpants, nerds, because this is the coolest mash-up I’ve seen in ages: “Battlestar Galactica” set to the Beastie Boys’ “Sabotage,” with the scenes cut to mirror the iconic ’90s/faux-’70s music video (see the incredible side-by-side video below, via BuzzFeed).

Now, granted, I may be overhyping the coolness slightly because “Sabotage” automatically makes anything 30% better (seriously, try having sex while it’s playing on your stereo). But I doubt it. As someone who rarely spends more than an hour writing anything, the time that must have gone into making this video is mind-boggling to me. The only way you could improve this concept is if it was three minutes of Tricia Helfer pole-dancing set to “Sabotage.” It wouldn’t be as faithful to the Beasties’ video, but then, it wouldn’t need to be, now would it?

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You ever notice how every law enforcement agency on TV and the movies is able to solve crimes by enhancing grainy footage? Of course you have, because it’s the one thing that every police computer can do that nobody’s personal computer can do. Well, that and find the states where I’m a sex offender. Whatever, I didn’t want to live in Alabama anyway.

That’s why this awesomely edited mash-up from dunk3d is one of the best things I’ve seen all week. The shows listed in the tags don’t even make a complete list of all the shows used in this clip, and it doesn’t even include the handful of movies that made the cut, as well.

There is, however, one glaring omission:

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